The verse that changes everything
Verse 17 of the Dhammapada doesn't open gently. It gives you a list, "he abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me", and then tells you plainly: those who carry such thoughts do not still their hatred. The verse doesn't say your grievance is wrong. It doesn't ask you to forgive. It simply observes that the thought, rehearsed again and again, keeps the wound open. You are the one doing that. Not him.