Openness and trust are fundamental parts of any happy and healthy relationship. In short, you want to be able to be honest with your partner. Even though everyone has their quirks, there’s a common sense limit to what should and should not be done. Some behaviors are downright shameful.
In a candid thread, the members of the r/AskWomen online group opened up about the grossest things that their partners do, and it is shocking. Scroll down for their stories.
Healthy relationships are grounded in honesty and trust, as well as mutual respect and support. Ideally, you want your partner to know that you’ve got their back, no matter what—and they’ll have yours, too. Part of that means embracing your partner's character flaws and personality quirks. After all, nobody’s perfect. Fighting over every tiny little mistake would probably drive the relationship to the ground.
However, love doesn’t just mean blindly going along with whatever your partner does. You can be incredibly supportive while also wanting them to grow, improve, and reach their potential. And, let’s be honest, it’s not a lot of fun being next to someone who’s constantly doing something really gross.
To put it simply, if you’re genuinely embarrassed by your partner’s behavior and what they do is affecting you in a negative way, you have to talk about it. Nobody is going to ever behave ‘perfectly’ pristinely in any setting, but there are limits to gross behavior, whether that’s in public or in private. You’d think that it’s all common sense, but it’s really not. All of us could do with an outsider’s perspective once in a while.
The important thing to remember is not to make it seem like you’re attacking your partner. Talk to them about their behavior without judging them. Yes, you want to be heard and for them to change their behavior, but you’re on the same team. Remember that so you don’t come across as too harsh, even if it's a serious issue.
If every argument turns into a battle, soon enough, you both might stop bringing any issues up out of fear of things getting out of hand. A bit of friendly humor can help defuse the tension when you bring up your partner’s non-stop nose-picking or smelly farts.
Maybe there’s actually an underlying issue that needs to be addressed. Like the fact that your partner might feel anxious or stressed all the time or they might have some serious digestive issues that need to be addressed. They might need your perspective and a bit of supportive advice.
What’s the grossest thing that your partner does? Have you spoken to them about it? What advice would you give someone who wants their partner to change their behavior, but feel embarrassed bringing the topic up? Tell us what you think in the comments, Pandas.
The butt crack.... I just... I can't. I can't divorce the love of my life, the father of my kids, the person with whom I can laugh and cry together, my life partner in sickness and health, good times and bad... over the fact that he will NOT pull up his pants. The crack is everywhere. Cute video of the kids? He is inevitably bending down at some point in the video with his crack to the camera. Skyping my parents? Sure enough, he is in the background picking something off the floor crack to camera. At the dog park? Let him pick up this dog toy, crack to the world.. crack crack crack.. I gave up on it but that doesnt mean it doesn't bother me. I live with a butt crack.Why does every top comment gotta do with hygiene?? I was just going to say my guy f****n drinks pickle juice...When he pops his pimples/blackheads, he wipes it on the wall next to the mirror. He also wipes his boogers on the side of his driver's seat, it's foul.Picks off his toenails and chews on them. Even saves a ‘good one’ for later if it’s not the right time to chew right there and then. His favourite nail is the big toe. So disgusting ?.So he is 72 and this has just been an issue for 4 or so years, but he just farts up a storm as he walks from here to there in the house. The farts are so full of sound and very long in duration that I can hardly believe he has not pooped his pants. It’s frequent and funny and awful all at the same time.Leaves his poop in the toilet and justifies it as “if it’s brown let it mellow” followed by “you don’t have to wipe every time”.Picks his nose AND EATS IT.He pretends to go in for a kiss, then burps.I love my wife desperately, but she doesn't eat any fiber and will not clean the bathroom or even flush in the middle of bad poops so sometimes death itself seems to be wafting directly into our bedroom.He pees in the laundry sink. He has also peed in vases too.1. Cleans with his spit
2. Licks the toothpaste out of the tube before brushing his teeth.Scratches his balls and then sniffs his fingers. Also tries to get me to smell them too.He poops with the door open and tries to talk to me while doing it. He will also barge in when I’m doing the same and talk to me. I have trained him to leave when I tell him what I’m doing, but it took literal years.Not washing his hands. Not before preparing food, not after pooping, not before preparing food after pooping (?). And every time I tell him he should wash his hands, he lies and says he did it already. Ugh. Like, dude, I've been watching you like a hawk for the past 7 months, don't gaslight me, just go wash your damn hands.He farts in his sleep. I sleep with my head under the covers :(.My husband is too lazy to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night so he keeps a large bottle beside his bed that he can pee into…This would not fly if we were sharing a room. We have an 8 month old who bed shares with me. When hubby moves back in with me, trust that this will no longer happen. It makes me want to ?.He forgets to flush a lot.Mine are all nose related, he has a deviated septum and only one nostril works.
1. Snot rockets in and out of the shower
2. Constant nose picking and wiping it on his pants
3. Blowing his nose into his shirt
4. Pulls out nose hairs with fingers
I think that covers it all ?.She eats and swallows SO LOUDLY. Like her mouth is closed but like all I can ever hear from her is the loudest chewing like she chews not with her teeth but mashes it to the roof of her mouth or something, then GULPS her drinks every time.My girlfriend has dandruff and tries to pick them without breaking the large flakes apart. She likes try to show me the larger pieces and will shake her hair out to see how much will collect in her lap. May not be that gross but it is a bit unpleasant to step in her scalp snow.Sometimes he'll pile his dirty dishes on top of his dirty laundry as if they're the same thing. I don't get it, at all, and it drives me up the wall. He's creating the perfect rat oasis on his side of our room and it's sheer luck we haven't had rats yet. I try to pick it up when I see it, but sometimes I don't, because he'll throw a shirt on top of a dirty dish. I wish I was kidding.
In literally, truly, not exaggerating, every other respect he is the perfect partner for me, so this one thing drives me crazy but isn't enough to make a huge deal about. But it is super nasty.Has had a toe fungus on one of his big toes for over 12 years, that would easily clean up with an anti-fungal.
He's really clean otherwise so it drives me nuts that he won't address this.
It's only mild and doesnt seem to spread thankfully.I always think about how my husband puts up with me. I have post nasal drip like you wouldn't believe. It irritates my throat so I actually reach back with my fingers and pull huge globs of mucus out every day multiple times. I'm so glad my husband doesn't seem to care. He just grabs me a tissue.I have several tied for first place… brushes his teeth like once every 2 weeks, cuts his toenails once a year(his toe nails are like a 70 yr old), eats fast food nearly everyday.He doesn’t wash his a*s properly in the shower, and then wipes s**t on the towels. We now have colour coded towels & I try not to look at/think about his. I also don’t do butt stuff with him anymore.Reuses socks or underwear like sir pls don’t ?? he has a lot of clean ones so I don’t get why he does this!!!He drinks cold coffee that is over a day old. He also drinks coffee with any meal: lasagna, salad, breakfast, burgers, dessert, enchiladas, anything! This is not normal.Ejaculates on walls and doors, brags about it, said it's making our home safer and stronger.He leaves used dental floss on the couch.My husband constantly has his hand down his pants scratching his sack and butt. I'm a nurse and it drives me crazy telling him over and over that he does that then touches door knobs and light switches and I don't want him to spread his germs. I'm always saying 'get your hands out of your pants!'. He also sweats at night and his pillow always ends up stinking after a couple days. When he leaves the bed I throw it on the floor.He will open up big pimples with a needle which he "desinfects" with mouthwash from time to time.
This easily is nr. 1. Once he had an abscess roughly the size of a small egg - same thing.
He cuts his finger/toenails outside the bathroom
He leaves used bandaids wherever he took them off.
Same with cotton swabs for the ears.
He uses the same coffecup for weeks.
He will taste random crumbs or smears to determine what it is. ITS NOT ALWAYS CHOCOLATE!!!
All this and I still love him. It allows me to be as gross as I want and he doesnt mind.Snot rockets. i have to look away tbh.The shower curtain has “work boogers” all over it from blowing his shnoz. He won’t throw it out so I just see it whenever I shower at his place.Chew with his mouth open making the worst smacking noises ever! Super cringe, lol.Two things:
1) he treats everything in our home as a tool to blow his nose. Blows his nose into towels hanging in the bathroom, his shirt, the blanket on the sofa. Anything.
2) he doesn’t lift the seat to pee and doesn’t really aim. Pee gets everywhere and I’m cleaning the bathroom almost daily.He chews food like a famished toddler.His farts….8/10 of them stink so bad. I swear his bedroom just smells like one stale fart all of the time. He thinks it’s funny & I love him dearly but good Lord they smell so gross.Dribbles pee on the floor in front of the toilet when he’s careless.My husband will pick at the calloused skin on his heels and throws it wherever he is. He also picks stuff out of his teeth and eats it off his finger.Not changing towels - I don’t think he’s ever done it. He’ll happily have a soaking wet smelly bath robe then go into the next room once a week and get a clean dry towel.Smokes cigarettes and doesn't wash his hands, but thinks he gets to boop my nose, etc. Get those smelly, nasty-a*s things TF away from my face!
Scratches his crotch or plays with a zit... and doesn't wash his hands, but wants to play with my hair or ears. Again, wash or GTFO.
Leaving dishes and paper plates all. the f**k. over. the living room. is pretty bad too, but the dogs usually lick the crumbs etc. so there's not as much accumulated food garbage, just lots of dog drool (we have 3).Shaves the dead skin off his heels with a razor blade… and once he left the pile of skin flakes on the end table.Shaves his beard in front of the sink and leaves the hair everywhere :’).Picks his toenails while we're watching Jeopardy in the evening. I just say "Ew, David" and he stops. lol.How he lets his dishes sit in the sink for weeks. Mold and scum starts growing like Petri dishes. I usually help him with the dishes though because I can’t stand them lol.
He’s good with personal hygiene, though — so far.Picks his nose and picks his nose and picks his nose. In the car, next to people, at the store, when we go for walks.Throws his used contact lenses on the floor.He sweats profusely in his sleep and will wake up, take off his clothes, hop in the shower, and then put on the same clothes. He'll at least put on new socks/boxers, but could easily wear the same undershirt that has been heavily sweated in multiple days in a row. It's gotten *much* better since we've been dating, though - we've been together five years and I tell him right away when he or his clothing smells and needs to change. Does so without complaint. But, yeah. That's his grossest thing. Can still smell pretty mursty at times if I haven't been around and he's been working on something super intently.Spreads his mayo on with his finger….I once saw them take a cloth to rub over their teeth, to avoid brushing their teeth. I'm glad we're broken up, that was horrendous.Mine puts socks on and walks all over the house or nasty hotel rooms then comes to bed with same socks on. He gets so much floor shrapnel in the bed, before long it feels like I’m laying on the ground. We’ve had a million discussions and go-rounds about this but the old habit/bad behavior never changes.
He also sits on port-a-potty seats and doesn’t wash his hands like almost ever. I bleach my toilet seats every time he uses them because who knows what he picked up from public toilet seats. He and I are polar opposites about germs and if he wasn’t otherwise so amazing and wonderful, it would be a deal breaker for me.My husband wakes up feeling nauseous some mornings due to severe acid reflux. He will walk around burp gagging WHILE HOLDING A CONVERSATION WITH ME for like a solid 10 minutes when this happens. I'm a reactive puker... he's made me sick more than a couple times doing this, but still won't stay away for just the 10-15 minutes he's doing this. Lord I love this man, but my god does he test me ???.Doesn’t wash his feet but is almost exclusively barefoot when not at work and doesn’t believe in expiration dates on food (6mo old yogurt? No problem!).He burps with his mouth slightly open, so all of his burps sound like deep, wet growls.Wraps used floss around his toothbrush to reuse.Horks every morning when he brushes his teeth.Goes into a yoga position to fart ?.Wakes up with breath smelling like a literal a*****e.Shoves all his fingers in his mouth when eating finger foods.He doesn’t brush his teeth before bed.Cuts his toenails in bed.Sh*rts himself at least 1-2 times a week.Clips his toenails in the bathroom and leaves the clippings EVERYWHERE.If we don’t wax his nose hair often enough he will pick out the hairs one by one with his fingers lol.The hacking when he's clearing his throat..omg I hate it. Then spitting it into the sink and not turning the tap on to make sure it goes down the sink hole!
I love this man...I love him so much.He walks barefeet around our house and everytime he sits on our couch, he would scrub his feet on the edge of the couch, leaving all the dirt there sitting in the corner… v gross but i love him so…yeah.Drinks a lot of coffee and he never washes his coffee machine and his thermos.Itches his throat by making a sound I can only describe as 'frog-like'. I just tune it out now.Sometimes he will leave leftover food out overnight [covered] and then nibble on it in the morning as if Staphylococcus were just a myth invented to scare children.I hope I’m not the only one who has to watch this on a daily basis, but he picks his belly button fluff out every single day and just drops it on the floor.Burping...just so much! But I fart, so it kinda evens out.Instead of just blowing his nose with a tissue like a regular human, he usually just snorts it back up a few times and the sound is so loud and close to vomit-inducing. I’ve mentioned this many times but it’s just a habit he can’t break I guess. Still drives me crazy though.The sheer amount of mustard this man puts on sandwiches. Nothing wrong with mustard, but the sheer AMOUNT of mustard he uses is scary. First time I ever saw him make a sandwich, I watched with tears in my eyes.This is so Finnish but he puts both ketchup and cowberry jam to his macaroni casserole.Leaves his socks everydamnwhere.
Like..can you just pick them up and put them in your dirty clothes basket where they belong? Ugh.I'm dating someone new at the moment so I don't know much about him, but when I went to his place he was very clean and I hope he stays that way lol.
One of my exes was extremely clean and I might have been the disgusting one in the relationship. He was my first love and the one that got a away.
The other one weirdly refused to wash behind his ears and every time I touched his neck I would get lumps of dead skin. He also liked to burp and then blow it out and spread it around the room. The saddest thing was that he thought what he was doing was adorable and funny.
The other hated brushing his teeth and I'm pretty sure he didn't do it when he was alone, but whenever we met or spent the night together he always brushed his teeth.Randomly spits on the ground when we're outdoors.Uses his mouth to trim his nails.Scratches his feet and in between his toes after work. When he rubs his feet together it sounds like he’s trying to start a fire. He knows I hate it and goes to the other room to get it done.My husband has shoulder length, thick, curly hair.
It. is. EVERYWHERE.
After a single shower there are multiple globs of it all over. It makes me gag.Sits on our bed with his outside clothes. Ughhh.I didn't accept it. Dude used to go through 3 pairs of boxers a week. I beat him into cleanliness ? (I bought him loads of funky pairs so he wanted to wear them.) however the grossest thing now is he only showers three times a week.He rubs his eyes and they make a gross squishy sound.
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