I always assume that when a person gets a new dog, the household lives for a period in new-baby territory. That is to say, anyone is allowed to visit whenever they like as long as they bring something diverting and indulgent – a card trick, vodka – and don’t expect so much as a glass of water. This turns out not to be true. I had to lobby for weeks to be invited to meet my friend’s new dachshund and when we arrived, it turned out “lunch” meant actual lunch, which wasn’t what I meant at all. I was thinking more, have some Frazzles, hug the dog, hug the older dog so it didn’t feel left out, do that a few more times, then go for a walk.
The etiquette is the opposite of new-baby rules: you have to think of some things to talk about that aren’t the dog. You shouldn’t really make minute-by-minute observations about the activities of the dog, or speculate about its feelings, or hypothesise about the extent of its consciousness or comprehension. Its owners have already had these conversations; they were hoping you would arrive with something new.
