We Should Have Never Walked On The Moon at the Southbank Centre review: an irresistible rush of horny vibes

“Is this not the coolest thing you’ve done on Southbank?” said the young American woman beside me. We were leaning over a balcony at the Royal Festival Hall, watching dancers bust tight club moves on the ballroom floor. Nose rings, moustaches and mullets were out in force. Southbank buzzed like the Thameside people’s palace it was always designed to be. Yeah, it was pretty cool.

Over three hours, you can roam across all six floors of the RFH, not to mention the neighbouring riverside terrace and Queen Elizabeth Hall. There’s a power kink duet in a steam-smeared rooftop room (ushers cover your phone camera and warn against touching the glass: “it’s sticky”). Ensemble works ease over the stages, and little dance doings scuttle through the foyers. Dance films loop wherever there’s space to stick a screen.