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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Sam Wollaston

‘We don’t do deep emotional discussions’: why men lose their friends – and how they can make more

Garrie Coleman, 54 (centre), joined a scooter club to make friends.
Running with the pack … Garrie Coleman, 54 (centre), joined a scooter club to make friends. Photograph: Christoper Owens/The Guardian

Garrie Coleman joined the army at the age of 16 and left when he was 40. He spent his 24 years as an infantry soldier in the Royal Regiment of Fusiliers, serving in Northern Ireland, Kosovo, Iraq and Cyprus, doing army things – including forming close friendships. “There is such camaraderie, you build these bonds,” he says. “It’s like a club, everyone going though the same kind of constraints and challenges.”

After the army, he settled in Darlington, County Durham, because his wife has family there. But his friends were dispersed around the country and abroad. They’re connected on social media, but that’s not the same. Coleman missed the friendship.

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