Charlie Kirk‘s reputation has steadily increased since his brutal murder last year. In life, he was merely a far-right provocateur who trolled college students. In death? MAGA insists he was one of the greatest minds of his generation and on the verge of sparking his own cultural revolution.
Now, perhaps inevitably, it appears that Kirk was, in fact, literally superhuman with magical powers. Or at least that’s what Candace Owens says, anyway.
Owens, famed for her steady grip on the fabric of reality and carefully reasoned deductions, has found her profile steadily increasing in the wake of Kirk’s death. She was one of his best friends, and now, each week, she delivers a fresh twist on his death. So, here’s her run-down of Kirk’s superpowers:
— Red Panda Koala (@RedPandaKoala) February 6, 2026
Candace Owens says Charlie Kirk could astral project and would effect lights he would pass
"Charlie and I spoke a lot about his third eye.
We spoke about the street lamps that would go off when he would run.
We spoke about the fact that we could both astral project." pic.twitter.com/k8gfv7ge8G
Charlie and I spoke a lot about his third eye. … We spoke about the street lamps that would go off when he would run. About the special “school” that he had to go to. We spoke about a lot of the things that were strange in our childhood, the testing that both of us had to endure. We spoke about the fact that we could both astral project and how surprised we were when we learned that. Not everybody does that naturally.”
Big if true
So, to recap, Charlie Kirk had to attend a real-life version of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. When he ran down the street, he would generate an electromagnetic pulse that disabled street lights. Not only that, he could send his consciousness out of his body in a spectral form and roam around the world as a spirit? Oh yeah, and he has a third eye, perhaps literally?
I guess it’s a shame he didn’t have Magneto’s mutant abilities, or the events of Sept. 10, 2025, could have gone down very differently.
The Charlie Kirk power creep is real. If we’re here now, just half a year on from his death, we imagine that by the summer Owens will reveal that Kirk was actually a thousand-year-old immortal demigod sent to Earth to save humanity by talking loudly over college students.
Either way, exciting times for Candace Owens, and we can only hope that she tumbles ever deeper down this rabbit hole. If we do still have to see and hear about Kirk all the time, the news may as well be completely insane.
