THE ROONEY BLUES (REDUX)
Major League Soccer enjoyed a fruitful, blockbuster summer, what with Lionel Messi taking his talents to South Beach (Fort Lauderdale actually), and dazzling the USA USA USA with his all-conquering brand of standstill football. Sadly, the party will not extend to the fall/autumn. Inter Miami did not reach the playoffs, so neither did Messi, now rumoured to be heading for the type of European loan David Beckham, Miami’s chief designer suit, once annoyed Landon Donovan with, as depicted in Becks’ hit Behind the Music series on Netflix. Further names will miss the race for the MLS Cup. Lorenzo Insigne’s Toronto FC missed out. Billy Sharp’s LA Galaxy won’t be involved and on Saturday, it was confirmed that DC United’s playoff hopes had ended.
“We are grateful to Wayne Rooney for all he has done for our club and for soccer in the Nation’s Capital,” tooted DC chief suit Jason Levien, confirming the Do One door beckoned for Coach Wazza. “I feel it’s the right time for me to go back to England. What lies ahead, I don’t know,” sobbed Rooney himself. Back to England, to the bosom of his family, Wayne had free time to work on his short game at the local golf club, maybe sink a couple of pints of Robbies down at the Admiral Rodney, the homely drinker he once admitted he had thought was called the “Admiral Rooney”. But another game was afoot. The first clues came via the Instaspace activity of son and heir Kai following Birmingham City pair Gary Gardner and Neil Etheridge, along with the club’s Community Trust.
Then came the unceremonious removal of John Eustace, the previously highly-thought-of Blues manager, with the team being in the actual playoff spots and not struggling against relegation for once. Huh? A different Atlantic crossing provides much of the answer. You might recall Tom Brady, the winningest NFL QB in all-time history, becoming minority owner and chairman of Blues’ new advisory board, being hailed for being “a respected leader in nutrition, health, wellness and recovery” who would work alongside Tom Wagner, the American financier club chairman.
Though perhaps you missed former Manchester City suit Garry Cook washing up as Blues CEO, the thrusting exec who accused Milan of “bottling it” when they turned down £100m of Abu Dhabi loot for Kaká in January 2009. Perhaps he was right about that one all along. Close links to the former England goal-getter’s Mr 15% Paul Stretford have left Rooney top of the Cook contacts book and now a manager whose previous Championship experience extends to failing to stop getting a points-knacked Derby relegated is set to be unveiled at St Andrews. “Creating a winning culture in an organisation that has been on its back foot for a number of years is not easy,” roared Cook, showing that a decade in UFC and his recent fluffing of the Saudi Pro League has not deadened his way with words. “[The owners] are to help make Birmingham City a football powerhouse.” Eustace meanwhile need not empty his wardrobe of blue items quite yet; he’s one of the names linked with the Rangers ever-so-hot seat.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Our country is not embraced by world countries, but if we present ourselves nicely, people will be more sensitive towards our economy. Our country needs this for publicity” – Omer Ozturk, a 53-year-old textile worker in Ankara, celebrates the news that Euro 2032 is heading to Turkey (and Italy).
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Wayne Rooney is looking more and more like his groundskeeping, camper van-living, ‘England in Roo-ins’ Nike Write the Future 2010 World Cup commercial future self with each passing day, isn’t he? Are we approaching some sort of terminal singularity where future fictional Wayne intersects with current reality Wayne and an uber-Rooney emerges to lead Birmingham to glory? Probably not, but a man can dream” – Daniel Stauss.
Re: yesterday’s Quote of the Day. Maybe Puma could ask Mary Earps to share her feelings regarding the ‘speed to market’ of the Milan/Giroud goalkeeping kit, as opposed to the England Nike one?” – Mark Jones.
“Re: your article suggesting that, eight games in, we might have a title race after Manchester City ‘romped’ to five titles out of the last six (yesterday’s Football Daily). I should point out that City won two of those by one point and one in literally the last 10 minutes of the season. As a Liverpool fan, it still hurts” – Alan Pennington.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Daniel Stauss.
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