Thanks to the unprecedented critical and commercial success of The Substance, horror is having a rare moment of recognition. In fact, you’d be willing to bet that some of Hollywood’s biggest names are currently throwing themselves at all sorts of elevated horror projects just to get in on the action. However, if they are, it might be worth double checking what their character’s name is. Because if it happens to be David, those poor saps will be lucky to make it past the first act.
Every now and again a study will fall into our inboxes, bankrolled by an unlikely source, that sheds some light on an area of film so esoteric that nobody has given it a moment’s thought until now. With that in mind, it is my pleasure to announce that Funeral Guide – a price comparison engine for end-of-life ceremonies – has commissioned a study to see which names are most likely to be killed off early in horror movies. This was achieved by combing through IMDb’s top 100 horrors, and seeing which characters didn’t make it to the end credits. As such, actors are not advised to star in anything where their character is called David, Holly or Dick, because these names are practically a death sentence.
