There is no better source of knowledge about raising a child than a single mother. Let’s face it, taking care of kids is hard, particularly when you are entirely alone. So it’s not hard to imagine the consternation a single mom might have when she discovers that her own child is pregnant and wants to keep it.
A mom turned to the internet for advice after she had to kick her pregnant 19-year-old daughter out of the house for wanting her to be a permanent babysitter. We reached out to the mother in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
It’s ok to ask your parents for help with a baby, but there should be limits
One mom kicked her daughter out after she demanded free childcare and to turn her college fund into spending money
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: mododeolhar / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Alex Pasarelu / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Kelli McClintock / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ThrowRA-MomDaughterA
Being a single parent is rarely easy
There are few “pros” of being a single mom. In the US alone, there are roughly 10 million women who raise a child without another parent. Besides the increased financial burden, the lack of time and energy and the inability to take breaks, research suggests that single mothers are more prone to mental illness, anxiety and depression.
Generally, being a single parent isn’t by choice, even if keeping the child is the desired outcome. This tends to mean that the single parent is “locked” into a socioeconomic position, as the need to work and take care of a child limits their ability to learn new skills or educate themselves. So even if the person wanted to be a parent, it’s quite understandable why they might end up exhausted and burnt out.
The other issue is that the single parent does not have another shoulder to lean on. Researchers Valire Copeland and Kimberly Snyder wrote that single moms have to deal with “the lack of community resources, transportation, child care, convenient hours, and financial resources,” that a co parent would bring.
This is not to say that it’s impossible to be a single parent, but it’s very understandable why this mom was apprehensive about her daughter having a kid. While she does have a partner, this is a young man who still lives with his parents, not a person with the resources and ability to be a real help for the family he just created. Having rules isn’t the same as being a helicopter parent, and it does look like the mom was willing to meet her daughter halfway.
The daughter can’t seem to understand just how good her mother’s terms were
Image credits: Liza Summer / pexels (not the actual photo)
It would be bad enough if this young woman was preparing herself to raise a child without a real career or education, but the fact that she thinks that she can maintain most of her previous lifestyle without alterations is verging on delusional. Similarly, being a “stay-at-home-mom” doesn’t really work when you literally don’t own a home.
Instead, she wants her own mom, who raised her solo, to pick up most of the slack. Demanding that kids are “eternally grateful” for their parents’ sacrifices can be debilitating, but this young woman really should appreciate what her mom went through. Similarly, her mom was willing to go the extra mile so that she wouldn’t have to have the same experience. This is not some family secret, but most likely an experience that the daughter is well aware of.
Instead, she has decided to insist on pretty excessive assistance from her mother that would basically amount to her parenting her granddaughter. It’s a bit unclear how she is going to be a “stay-at-home-mom” while someone else actually is a mom. It’s sad that the woman who shared the story had to go this far, but as many commenters noted, her daughter brought this upon herself. There are all sorts of cases online of people disowning their parents, which this woman might do, but hopefully, in time, she sees reason and repairs the relationship.
Readers thought the daughter’s demands were too much
