Want by Gillian Anderson is a far cry from the psychological thriller I usually have by my bedside, but it's as – if not more – compelling.
Want was inspired by American author Nancy Friday, who, in the 1970s, asked women all over the world to submit anonymous letters detailing their sexual fantasies. And then compiled those submissions in to what became the multimillion-copy global bestseller book My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies.
Gillian Anderson was just five when My Secret Garden was published in 1973, and it wasn't until she was prepping for the role of sex therapist Dr Jean Milburn in Sex Education that she read it. Clearly captivated, she followed Friday's lead, asking women across the world to submit anonymous letters outlining their 'deepest internal desires'. And there was an incredible response.
Over 8,000 people started writing submissions, but that number dropped to around 1,800 who were brave enough to press 'send'. Want by Gillian Anderson is a collection of 174 of those submissions, curated by Gillian herself, and organised into 12 very distinct chapters.
A collection of 174 sexual fantasies from women all over the world, Want is a truly fascinating read. And Gillian Anderson is a master curator and narrator, introducing you to each chapter with careful consideration and thoughtful language to help you understand some of the potential motivations behind each entry. Hard to put down, and leaves you thinking about it long after finishing.
The book that inspired Want by Gillian Anderson, Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden was published in 1973, and was a divisive as you can imagine. People were either outraged by it or in full support. Either way, it changed the landscape of female desire that was unprecedented at the time, and remains as one of the most iconic works of feminist literature today.
'Rough and ready', 'The Watchers and The Watched' and 'More, More, More' are among them, each one introduced by Gillian before leading into the submissions. Which include fantasies on everything from using the best sex toys and female masturbation techniques, to BDSM and being used as a 'hucow'.
Gillian Anderson writes in the book introduction: "So much has changed in our social and sexual relations in the 50 years since My Secret Garden was first published. Have women's deepest internal desires also changed? I am a woman, with a sex life and fantasies of my own, and I was curious to know the ways in which a diverse group of other women's fantasies were similar to, or different from, mine."
The actress also reveals one of the entries within the book is her own, although obviously does not divulge any details that might help identify it. It's hard to stop yourself from guessing which hers might be, particularly as she asks 'would it match people's assumptions about me?'
Gillian Anderson has a very distinct writing style, so much so I can I can hear her voice when reading what I know are her words in the book, which made the experience all the more visceral. So while I could, like everyone else, take a guess, I wouldn't like to speculate, and as Gillian says herself 'we will never know!'.
Having now finished the book, I can honestly say it's an addictive and compelling read. But I also found it uncomfortable at times too. How people feel reading this book will be a very personal experience, and for me, as much as I was captivated by it, I also felt a real sense of loneliness among some of these pages, which made it quite hard to read. Particularly knowing there's no element of fiction here.
It's raw, unfiltered, honest, shocking, erotic, empowering, eye-opening – the list of words I could use to describe how I felt reading it could go on and on. The end of Gillian's introduction says: "If I have one hope for this book, it is that it will start a new conversation about sexual power, particularly for women." Having read it, I can confidently say if there's one thing this book will do, it's get people talking.
Want by Gillian Anderson is available to buy now on Amazon
