Wales international Willis Halaholo has issued an emotional statement amid circumstances that could lead to an end to his Cardiff career.
The luckless centre sustained an Achilles injury and may be out for 12 months, according to Cardiff coach David Young.
It is the latest setback for the talented midfield man, who hasn’t played since last October because of a hamstring problem. Halaholo was due to return for Cardiff in Saturday’s encounter with Ulster, but those plans had to be revised and he is set to undergo surgery.
He may have to exit this summer amid budget cuts.
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Halaholo took to social media to underline the size of the challenges he is facing, saying: “Don’t know how many more of this I can take. Worked so hard to get back for today’s game and then a freak accident just happens to my Achilles … dark times at the moment. Don’t know how to feel.”
The financial problems gripping Welsh rugby mean certain players are facing massively reduced wages.
Halaholo is out of contract this summer and continued: "Getting a offer that won't even be enough to feed my family. Pay reduction I was willing because of the love I have for the club and also the feeling of unfinished business in the red [Wales] jersey knowing I haven't been given that proper chance to show I can truly add.
"But I can't accept an offer that can't even feed my family on a month to month basis. Regrets are running through my mind as I turned {down] offers to go abroad back in October in the hope of still representing both jerseys. But now I'm hating myself because this situation we are in.
"The worst part is knowing my coach wants to keep me but the money doesn't add up and would mean we would be stretched and struggle to provide for the kids.
"Not only that but now I have to wait and have hope that someone will pick up an injured player.
"Hoping that my highlights and the potential of what I can bring would be enough to get something at least enough to provide for my family and then play myself into a position to ask for what I feel I'm really worth maybe the following season.
"At the moment it's just dark times of uncertainty and possibly just have to move back to New Zealand."
Halaholo has been a major asset to Cardiff since joining them after a successful spell with the Hurricanes. With his ability to leave defenders clutching handfuls of thin air via his stepping ability, he has become an Arms Park favourite and his partnership with Rey Lee-Lo has become one of the most respected in the United Rugby Championship.
The 10-cap Wales international is targeting a return within six months while stressing how much reaching a major Cardiff milestone would mean to him.
"Thanks to the supporters and everyone that has been in touch with encouragement,” he went on. "My biggest disappointment was I was looking forward to reaching the 100 club in three more games. Something I really wanted to do.
"Hopefully it will still be possible if things get right contract wise, if not it will be something I look back on gutted about."
Dmitri Arhip is also sidelined by long-term injury as he heads towards the end of his contract with Cardiff. Star No.10 Jarrod Evans is also leaving and is believed to be joining English giants Harlequins.
Cardiff's director of rugby Young said: "We are there to look after rehab for Willis and Dmitri, but where they are going next year I don't know. I don't know if they'll be our players next year.
"They knew the decision the club had made before their injuries. If we haven't got money to have competitive offers for Jarrod, why would we have for Willis and Dmitri?"
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