When Victoria Beckham brought a healthy helping of humour to last year’s hit Netflix documentary, Beckham, young viewers were taken aback. “Posh is funny?” they said.
Kids, Posh has always been funny. If anything, she’s the funniest of the Spice Girls, you just never realised it was all on purpose. From her stern pouts to her refusal to wear anything but heels (even while on crutches last Fashion Week, respect), to her dry humour and cutting remarks, Victoria is and always has been in on the joke.
And now she’s getting documentary of her own! So if one thing’s guaranteed, it’s a healthy dose of Posh’s sharp, acerbic wit. Here, we look back on some of her best moments.
1. On appropriate fan behaviour
In 2007, ahead of the Spice Girls world tour in Vancouver, Victoria made it clear what kind of reaction she expects from her fans: "It was amazing at the airport,” she told an interviewer, “there were lots of lovely Japanese people there to greet us. They were in tears, I always like that. I think it shows you are a true fan when you cry or pass out. When the paramedics are called I think that is a good sign. It shows real determination as a fan."
2. Her Ali G appearance
At several points in history, Posh has proved that she is in on the joke and there’s no better example than VB versus Ali G. At one point he asks if she wants Brooklyn to grow up to be a footballer, like his dad, or a singer, “like Mariah Carey?” Posh responds, “Well, I'm hoping that he'll grow up to be a footballer like his dad and I'd like to grow up and be a singer like Mariah Carey.”
3. On how much time the Spice Girls spend together
The Spice Girls were on the receiving end of a lot of inane and repetitive questions, and Posh was key in spicing up some of their answers. When asked about how much time they spend together, Mel C earnestly responded about how they work together and briefly lived together, when a fed up Victoria jumps in and jokes: “And then when we were in the institute together we had a lot of time to work on our act.”
4. On appropriate footwear
Victoria Beckham’s insistence on wearing heels is longstanding and well-documented throughout history. In one interview, when Mel B admits that she and Emma Bunton have switched to boots on stage but Victoria hasn’t, Posh pointedly notes: “See, I suffer for my art.”
5. On David Beckham’s big billboards
If there’s one thing Victoria Beckham is good at, it’s taking thirsty or inappropriate interview questions about her husband and turning them into gold. When quizzed about David’s Emporio Armani campaign in 2008, she replied: “I haven’t seen it on this trip but I’ve seen it, I think it’s great, I think Marcus [Piggott, the photographer] did a great job, I think it’s a great campaign and I’m proud to see his penis about 25 foot tall.”
6. Her accidental double entendre at the Glamour Awards
When accepting the Woman of the Decade Award in 2013, Victoria was greeted by a too-short microphone, which she hitches up to her mouth and says, “Oh I have to raise it, that doesn’t happen often.” The crowd goes wild and it takes her a minute to even realise what she’s done. “Oh my god I didn’t even mean that!” she gasps, before addressing her son in the audience, “I am so sorry Brooklyn, I’m sorry.”
7. *That* Michael Parkinson interview
One of VB’s most infamous interviews came in 2001, when she and David were grilled by Michael Parkinson and Victoria just came out firing. From her iconic comment about David’s private nickname (Golden Balls) to her self-effacing self assessments (“I think they just think that I’m a miserable cow in high heels and I just go down Bond Street all the time — not that there’s anything wrong in that”), the whole interview shows just how likeable Posh really is. It’s a masterclass in Posh’s quick wit and dry humour, including the moment where Parkinson asks David why he shaved his eyebrows off and David replies that it’s a phase, only for Posh to add that “It makes him more aerodynamic.”
8. When she gave David advice on singing national anthem
Turns out that David Beckham rather hated singing the national anthem back when he captained England, but no fear — Victoria came to the rescue with some solid advice. “You take a leaf out of my book and mime,” she joked in an interview with David at the time.
9. On the Queen’s poise
The Real Beckhams (2004)
— Jamie Tuohy (@JamieTuohy) October 4, 2023
A fave documentary from VB’s oeuvre in which Victoria marvels at the Queen’s stoicism when faced with having to converse with someone from the Inland Revenue and observes how Buckingham Palace pales in comparison to the grandeur of Beckingham Palace. pic.twitter.com/OfGFIbP74c
In a clip from The 'Réal' Beckhams documentary 2004, Posh praises her recent meeting with the Queen. “She does her job at the end of the day and she’s still really polite and she made every single person there today feel special,” she says. “She spoke to everybody. You know some guy got a medal for services to the inland revenue, I mean who the hell would wanna talk to him? But she did!”
10. On her dad’s choice of car
It’s the white lie that was heard around the world. In the 2023 documentary Beckham, Victoria is remarking upon her working class status, when David interrupts her and says, “What car did your dad drive you to school in?” She protests, and then eventually admits, “Okay, in the 80s, my dad had a Rolls Royce.” “Thank you,” says David before he closes the door and walks away.
Pure Posh and Becks comedic gold.
