Reality TV star Vicky Pattison says she found unexpected “belief and peace” after joining a celebrity TV pilgrimage, despite not believing in God.
The 35-year-old says the journey also helped her deal with grief over the death of her best friend.
But she admitted she felt like a “rogue booking” for BBC show The Pilgrimage, as she was the only agnostic celebrity taking part.
She said: “The journey affected me in a profound way I didn’t anticipate.
“I cried [during filming] because I felt like I was missing out on something to truly believe in.”
Vicky joined stars including former Boyzone singer Shane Lynch and ex-EastEnder Rita Simons for the journey to Fatima in Portugal.
It was here, in 1917, that three shepherd children claimed to have seen an apparition of the Virgin Mary.
Up to eight million believers now visit the town each year and after going there herself, Vicky is keen to explore religion and find a faith of her own. She said: “For years I didn’t believe in anything. I was untethered and unhappy. I’ve grown a lot since then… I’m more secure in myself.”
Vicky was left devastated by the death of her best friend Paul Burns in 2018, then her grandparents, Mavis and David.
“I thought a lot about them,” she said. “I have more belief in spirituality and the universe, but there’s now part of me which would like to go the next step and explore religion.”
The 2015 I’m A Celeb winner –who is engaged to TOWIE star Ercan Ramadan – called the group’s arrival in Fatima “a beautiful moment”.
She said: “The show brought me a sense of belief and peace.
“Faith is such a beautiful thing. I’d like to have that in my life.
“I don’t want to be 90 and scared of dying… I want to know there’s something more.”
Pilgrimage: The Road Through Portugal is on BBC Two on Fridays at 9pm. It is also available on iPlayer.
