Vanessa Feltz says she never expected to be single at 60, as she opens up about her heartbreaking split from ex-fiance Ben Ofoedu.
The TalkTV presenter - who has pledged to 'keep calm and carry on' amid her heartbreak - painfully recalls how she once thought Ben would be by her side 'till death do us part' and reiterates how their split has come as incredible shock.
In a brand new column, Vanessa admits to feeling 'discombobulated' amid her romance woes and confesses there is a part of her that would like to lick her wounds behind closed doors.
But the mum-of-two is determined not to let 'the shock and sadness' write her off - quoting lyrics from one of Chumbawamba songs as she pledges to keep going.
The broadcaster continues to discuss 'mistakes' and how she plans to celebrate her first birthday in 16 years as a single woman in style later this month.
Vanessa announced the news that she and Phats & Small singer Ben, 50, had parted after 16 years at the weekend, saying that she was "extremely sad and disappointed".
"Well I haven't been on Instagram for three weeks and that's because my relationship with Ben is over after sixteen years and I honestly didn't know what to say to you on Instagram," she told her followers in a candid video.
"But now it's clear that it's over and I really do feel that once the trust in a relationship is gone then you can't really get it back and that's what I would tell anyone else to do."
Writing in a her column for the Express, Vanessa discusses her emotions post-split and the public reaction to the news.
"I was very much hoping to do a Derby and Joan till death do us part. So you find me, shall we simply say, ‘discombobulated’?" Vanessa writes.
"Sixteen years is a creditably long relationship and the shock when you have to end it is pretty seismic."
The TV legend goes on to defiantly explain how even in 'scary silent hours' her survival instinct kicks in 'with a vengeance' - declaring how she will not let the shock of her break-up write her off.
"I will celebrate my birthday in a couple of weeks. I will cuddle my grandbabies, hit the town with my incredible girlfriends and I will, I fear, go on to make many more mistakes," Vanessa pledges in her column.
"As the legendary Chumbawamba sang: 'I get knocked down but I get up again. You are never gonna keep me down!'"
Vanessa and Ben met back in 2005, with Vanessa having divorced Michael Kurer five years earlier following cheating allegations.
Ben popped the question a year after first meeting, but Vanessa had shared her worries about marrying him.
She admitted her divorce from her doctor ex-husband made her "wary of getting married again."
"I was so shocked and broken-hearted and rocked to my absolute core," Vanessa admitted in an interview with OK! magazine last year.
"It makes you wary of getting married again. The marriage seemed to be so disposable - it could just be chucked down the toilet in 10 seconds flat, even though I didn’t want it to be and I didn’t realise there was any trouble with it or problems."
"So it made me feel a bit damaged and reluctant to ever do it again."
Do you have a story to sell? Get in touch with us at webcelebs@mirror.co.uk or call us direct 0207 29 33033.
