TV presenter Emer O’Neill has opened up on racist abuse revealing her son was first targeted over the colour of his skin aged just six years old.
The Bray native, who became a household name hosting RTE’s Home School Hub during the pandemic lockdown, said racism is “rife” in Ireland.
PE teacher Emer, 36, said she always felt different and ashamed of the colour of her skin growing up – but now she’s on a mission to stamp out hate.
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Emer, who is mum to son Kyan, eight, and two-year-old daughter Sunny-Rae, told Irish Sunday Mirror: “Unlike other parents who say my child’s too young to talk about racism, we don’t have that luxury.
“We’ve had to talk to Ky about that since he was five.
“The first incident was on his sixth birthday, we were all in the sitting room with our family and our house got egged.
“This all started around the time I started talking about racism. My name was graffitied all over Bray... down a lane where my son plays football.
“It said ‘Emer O’Neill shut the f**k up, all lives matter’.
“Quite derogatory to see your name plastered around the town you grew up where you’re supposed to feel safe.”
Things took a sinister turn when a neighbour’s car was doused in acid.
Emer recalled: “For me spray paint and eggs and words is one thing but acid and wanting to cause damage; that really shook me.
“But it just made me work harder.”
Campaigner Emer, who co-hosted the Today Show while Sinead Kennedy was on maternity leave, revealed there was even worse to come.
She said: “Ky was out playing on the green in our estate, he was approached by a group of lads aged 12.
“One of them said to him, ‘Your dad is George Floyd’.
“They all started laughing. It’s scary to think that kids would say that.
“It’s one thing to call someone the N word, but it would take much more effort and thought behind it to come up with that derogatory slur.
“To call Ky’s dad a man who was murdered in front of the whole world is scary.
“Ky understood everything.”
Emer told of her heartbreak when her beautiful boy, who was born before she met her husband, wished he looked the same as everyone else in school. She said: “Ky often used to say, ‘I wish I had skin like my dad’.
“My husband is white and he would say, ‘I wish I had hair like my friends’.
“It sounds ridiculous to somebody else but I know what he’s talking about because I wished all those things for myself when I was his age.
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“I never pointed out in our house that we had a different colour skin but... he figured out that he was different on his own.
“It was heartbreaking. My son has had to go through some awful stuff.
“He was told his skin looked like poo, he was called a ‘black d***’ by somebody.
“There’s been quite a few traumatic events that have happened to him and he’s only eight.”
Emer said part of the problem is that Ky is not represented.
She explained: “When he reads his school books everybody is white.
“Representation is something I’ve really pushed for in the last few years. Ireland is extremely diverse, it should be reflected in the school curriculum.
“We need to show that diversity everywhere – in medical fields, TV, in the police.
“Children are not born with hate, it’s taught.”
Emer admitted racist abuse has taken its toll.
She said: “Anyone who has suffered with mental health knows obviously there are down days.
“Being able to speak out about my struggles with racism has been so beneficial for me, better than any counselling I’ve ever done.
“From age 10 I never talked about racist incidents that happened.
“It was more traumatic for me to tell people about it and then to be questioned as if I was lying.
“I don’t want that for my son, I want him to know that people are working to change things.”
Growing up in a single mum household after her dad moved to England to start a new family, Emer knew all about hard graft.
She revealed: “Because my mum was on her own from a very early age I knew about finances, the struggle.
“My mum never had anyone to share the issues with like a partner. I hardly saw my mum at all when I was young, she worked as a nurse.
“I knew financially it was tough, I’d never ask for much I knew we couldn’t afford it, but we were a team.”
Emer used to visit her dad in England each summer but he died in a car crash in 2009 after he moved back to Nigeria.
She recalled: “He was trying to come to my graduation but things were rocky between us – he had forgotten my birthday that year.
“The day before the graduation he rang and I didn’t answer the call.
“A few days later I tried to ring him back but the phone rang out.
“I found out the next day he’d been in a car crash, out of five people in the car he was the only one who didn’t survive. It was the opportunity to hear his voice one more time when he rang but I have to live with that.
“Whatever you have going on with your loved ones, try to rectify it because life is so short.”
Emer conceived Ky while she was living in America coaching college basketball in Miami, Florida.
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Things didn’t work out with his biological father and she came home when she was seven months pregnant.
Things started looking up after she reluctantly went on a night out with friends and met the love of her life.
She revealed: “Sean came by, sat beside me and didn’t leave my side for the whole night.
“I said to him, ‘I don’t know if you’re into me or anything but just so you know I have a newborn baby’ and he said, ‘Oh cool’.
“From that day forward we haven’t spent a day apart.
“Three months later we moved in together, then an apartment, then a house. So we have our family home and together eight years.”
She added: “I went from being in a bad place to a really great space.
“I found a gem of a guy and I know how lucky I am, I always say my dad is looking out for me. I believe he had a hand in me meeting Sean.”
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