DERR-DUMM, DERR-DUMM …
In the borderline reverential buildup to his landmark 1,000th match as an excitable man gesticulating wildly on the touchlines of various football pitches like a traffic policeman with a ferret down his trousers, Pep Guardiola mused that “the universe deciding” to mark the occasion by having his Manchester City side play Liverpool “couldn’t be better”. On Sunday we found out why, as City made fairly short work of Arne Slot’s side on a damp afternoon at the Etihad to ensure Pep’s managerial millennium was unsullied by anything so demeaning as the scoreless draw between Barcelona B and Premià in the Spanish fourth tier that marked his first match as a head coach. Having joshed with reporters last week that the undoubted highlights of his career as a “Mister” were the combined 2,000 pre- and post-match press conferences he’d been contractually obliged to conduct with them, the great and the good on the Manchester media beat missed a trick by failing to ask Pep to rank each of his 1,000 matches in ascending order of philosophical enlightenment.
“I just want to say thank you to the players and the backroom staff to give me that present,” he trilled after beating the reigning champions, who have already lost one game more in the current campaign than they did in the entirety of last season. “I’m proud to do it here in Manchester with my City. I think my period at Barcelona B is the foundation for many things. To realise myself that I was able to do it and learn a lot. I will never forget the guys in that first season. For me, it has been so special to make 1,000 games in front of my family and especially against Liverpool. I have a huge respect for that club.” In beating Liverpool, City go into the international break having pulled back two points on Arsenal, who had been held by Sunderland at the Stadium of Light on Saturday. While Mikel Arteta’s side remain firmly in the box seat, they could now find themselves in a chase soundtracked by the foreboding, dark, churning two-note pulse of the Jaws music evoked by City in hot pursuit. If we are to have more of a title race than a procession, it will prove a real test of Arsenal’s collective mental and intestinal fortitude.
Just as the dorsal fin of the shark sliced terrifyingly through the water, Jérémy Doku was the visual embodiment of City’s most direct and lethal attacking threat against Liverpool. Delivering arguably his best performance under Guardiola, the Belgium winger was dazzling as he scored a beauty, won a penalty that went unscored and was a constant, whirring threat. “Listen, I know I’m good, but don’t overestimate me,” parped Guardiola, modestly. “The players do it for themselves. We have to try give them good momentum, and a good connection. Do you think I teach him how to dribble openings? This is natural talent.” The kind Jack Grealish used to have until Guardiola began teaching it out of him in the 2021 Community Shield, AKA match No 826.
