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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
As told to Laura Martin

‘Turn off your vampire devices!’: Zoe Lyons on nine ways to make your home life more sustainable

Picture of electric plug and woman with
If it’s not being used, turn it off! Composite: Getty Images/Guardian Labs
Zoe Lyons

Comedian Zoe Lyons would like you to think about bums. Not yours, in particular, although yours is also nice, but about our collective bums. More specifically, she’d like us to think about the toilet roll we use to clean them – according to sustainable loo-roll company Who Gives A Crap, more than 1m trees are cut down to make traditional toilet paper on a daily basis.

“That’s a frightening number, isn’t it?” she says. “We can’t keep doing that, can we? When deforestation is such a massive issue, it’s mad to think that there’s something we can do about it but so many of us aren’t.”

Toilet paper is a good place to start (more on that later), but there are loads of ways to live a more sustainable life. While we can’t give up all modern conveniences and go and live off-grid, there are small choices we can make to be more green. Here’s Zoe with some more simple but effective tips on how to make your house more eco-friendly:

Put a sock in it
“Make your house as energy efficient as possible, and that’s as simple as insulating draughty windows. A sock full of rice along the window, or old tights full of beans or rice, there you go: draught excluder.”

Don’t let vampires suck up your energy
“Try turning things off – it’s really not difficult. I think they’re called vampire devices, they’re sitting there, just gently sapping away your energy. Just turn off the switches instead!”

Ditch the wood burner
“Look, I know everyone loves wood-burning fires, I would love one, but for all the pollution it streams out, it’s just so bad for the environment. Why not try a biofuel fire instead? They give a realistic flame effect and it’s much better than burning half of the New Forest in your front room every night.”

Oranges in reusable, environmentally friendly cotton bag against solid color background
Bring your own bag and leave the plastic behind. Photograph: Pixel Stories/Stocksy United

Ditch the plastic at supermarkets and shop local
“Plastic food packaging on fruit and veg sends me apoplectic. Why is a cucumber in an anorak? I don’t understand why supermarkets still do that. Or, like, two avocados in a canoe – why? You don’t need it. I mean, bananas are left to their own devices, why not other fruit and veg?” And always remember to bring your own bags to the store to take your groceries home.

Food for thought
“Can we talk about food waste? This goes back to being conscious of what’s going into your house and what’s going out. Since the pandemic, we’ve been trying to use up as much of the food as possible, even if it’s just throwing it in a Tupperware and into the freezer for a later date. Why not feed your neighbours, if you’ve got loads of leftovers? Or try a food donation app like Olio?”

Shut that door!
“Shut the doors on things. If you’ve opened the fridge door, make your mind up! Be more decisive and shut the door. I hate that, it’s pouring out cold air into the room and is like reverse insulation, it’s literally a waste of energy. Where were you born, an igloo? Same for the oven door: shut it.”

Rainforest image - Stocksy comp 3082240
Prevent deforestation by using recycled or bamboo loo roll. Photograph: Karina Sharpe/Stocksy United

Bamboo by the loo
“Help cut down on deforestation: use bog roll made out of recycled paper or bamboo, a type of grass which grows so quickly, there’s no deforestation involved [pdf] at all. It’s a very simple movement for change, and yes, that pun is very much intended. Who Gives A Crap is an eco-angel as it donates 50% of its profits towards providing communities with proper sanitation and access to clean water. Plus, with its bright paper wrappers, it’s like unwrapping a little bog roll present each time you need a new roll. It adds a little bit of joy in the bathroom!”

Embrace your laundry limbo chair
“Sounds a bit gross, but wash your clothes less. There’s that temptation of just shoving it in the laundry basket, when actually you could probably get another day out of it. If it’s stinky, chuck it in, obviously. But I’m just aware about the amount of energy and water used and fibres going into the water every time you do a wash. Do what I do and use a laundry limbo chair, it’s like a holding pen for laundry, a waiting room for the actual wash when your clothes are not dirty enough for the machine, but not quite clean enough to hang back up. Admit it: we’ve all got this chair in our room, haven’t we?” And don’t forget to wash using cold water and hang dry (weather permitting).

And, on leaving the house, be prepared
“Get yourself a nice little tote bag that you use for everything and stick your reusable water bottle in there and off you pop. Look, people might feel overwhelmed about making an eco overhaul, but little actions done together, collaboratively, can make a big difference!”

Shop for Who Gives A Crap’s 100% recycled or bamboo toilet paper today

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