Trevor Noah
“Ever since the Uvalde shooting, Congress has been working hard to craft sensible gun safety measures that can be narrowly defeated at the last minute,” said Trevor Noah on Tuesday’s Daily Show.
“Unfortunately, though, nobody really expects a lot to change,” he continued, especially on the federal level, where the filibuster will prevent Democrats from passing any meaningful gun control legislation. “Now, that’s where there’s an upside to living in the States That Barely Put Up With Each Other of America. And that is: individual states can break off and pass their own gun laws.”
On Monday, Governor Kathy Hochul of New York signed into law a gun control package that would raise the age to purchase a semi-automatic weapon and strengthened reporting requirements for social media companies alerted to threats of violence.
“Wow, this is so weird. A mass shooting happened and then politicians did something … I didn’t even know that was possible,” said Noah. “It’s like I show up to McDonald’s and the McFlurry machine is working. I don’t even know how to react to this. Do I clap? Do I tip? What’s a good tip for passing gun laws?”
A mass shooting happened and then politicians... did something? Is that even possible?? pic.twitter.com/15FL2R8Ewx
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) June 8, 2022
“This feels like when you’re getting ready to argue with your partner and before you can say anything they just apologize,” he added. “Now you have a throat full of screams and nothing to do with it.”
The New York law raised the minimum age for purchase of semi-automatic rifles from 18 to 21, “which seems like common sense to me, although in my opinion instead of 21, I feel like it should be 21 and four days,” Noah noted. “Because I don’t want someone buying a gun on the same night that they’re slamming 10 shots of Jaeger. Just spread it out, you know?”
The measure also bans body armor, becoming the first state to do so, and “it’s a great idea,” said Noah. “They should also ban Under Armor while they’re at it. It’s not about the shootings, I’m just tired of seeing people’s nipples on the train, you know? I get it, you work out.”
Stephen Colbert
Stephen Colbert hyped up the January 6 committee primetime hearings this Thursday, for which the Late Show, as well as numerous major news channels, will air live analysis. Fox News, however, will stick with its usual primetime lineup. “Well that’s actually good. We’ll hear directly from the people who planned the coup,” Colbert said.
Related to the January 6 attack, five members of the Proud Boys were indicted for sedition this week, with a maximum sentence of 20 years in prison. “I’ve got to tell you, seeing those guys arrested makes this boy proud,” joked Colbert, pretending to get choked up.
The Proud Boys, Colbert reminded, are a male-only far-right fringe group who take their name from an obscure song from the movie Aladdin called Proud of Your Boy.
“It was actually their second Disney song choice – originally they were the supercalifragilisticexpiali-douche bags,” Colbert quipped.
The group maintains a list of strange rules, including “no heterosexual brother of the fraternity shall masturbate more than one time in any calendar month”.
Colbert said: “That’s going to make those 20 years in prison seem pretty long. But I do understand why they’re so angry.”
Seth Meyers
And on Late Night, Seth Meyers riffed on a new stamp, unveiled by Jill Biden this week, celebrating former first lady Nancy Reagan. “The stamp will be very helpful when you need to figure out which birthday card came from your grandparents,” he quipped.
Meanwhile, Trump advisers are reportedly split on whether he should announce his 2024 presidential campaign before or after the midterm elections, so as not to steal attention away from other candidates. “Oh, because he’d hate stealing attention,” Meyers joked. “Trump’s like a bridesmaid who keeps mentioning in her speech that it’s her half birthday.”
And New York City lawmakers passed the so-called “Stop the Chop” Act, which will allow residents to sue companies for excessive helicopter noise. “So now New York residents will only have to deal with noise from garbage trucks, street sweepers, ambulances, weed whackers, leaf blowers and people screaming when a rat popped its head out of a bodega,” Meyers said.
