GETTIN’ GIDDY WIT IT
Football Daily is feeling a bit green around the gills. It’s nothing to do with the eight cans of Pre-Season Optimism, our new favourite 9.2% Alcohol By Volume India Pale Ale, that disappeared last night. It’s because we’ve been instructed to watch this bleedin’ transfer merry-go-round for the last month and we’re starting to get a headache! That and the dehydration anyway. The merry-go-round will continue for another fortnight, but at least we’ll soon have some real football to distract us from the increasingly unnerving sight of a Sky Sports News panel discussing whether a player who hasn’t signed yet – and probably never will – has the ability to score 45 goals before the schools go back.
For now, transfers, done and undone, are all we’ve got to offer. Let’s start with the news that the first human slide tackle, Aaron Wan-Bissaka, has joined West Ham on a – what’s this now – seven-year contract after leaving Manchester United. “It’s an amazing feeling to be back in London and I’m excited for what’s coming,” whooped Wan-Bissaka. “I was born here and I know the ins and outs of London, which plays a big part in my life, so to be back playing in this city means a lot to me.”
United are preparing medicals for Matthijs de Ligt and Noussair Mazraoui, who will join from Bayern Munich and take the total of former Eredivisie players signed by Erik ten Hag to a full XI. (Admittedly this list includes Mason Mount, who spent a season on loan at Vitesse Arnhem in 2017-18, but there’s a narrative to peddle here!) Actually, we’re not judging Ten Hag’s transfer policy, just making an observation. But we will be worried if he addresses United’s leaky midfield by proudly unveiling the boy who put his finger in the dike.
At the risk of giving somebody an eye-wideningly lucrative podcast idea, the rest is gossip. Newcastle are waiting for a response to their third bid for Crystal Palace centre-back Marc Guéhi, Conor Gallagher is doing shuttle runs in limbo after his move to Atlético Madrid went south, Manchester United still want Manuel Ugarte to put his finger in said dike. And Chelsea are still trying to find somebody who can score 45 goals before the schools go back.
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Milk Cup is back, baby, and so too is Daniel Harris for some hot clockwatch coverage of the first-round action from 7.30pm BST.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“These attacks, in addition to being deeply hurtful, reflect a mentality not in line with the values of respect and empathy that we should promote as a society. I reiterate that I will not remain silent in the face of prejudice” – Manchester United and Brazil forward Geyse reveals she has received homophobic abuse after sharing pictures of herself with her female partner online.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Great to see my grandfather popping up in the Football Daily recently with a snippet about his days as Kettering Town’s mascot (Friday’s Memory Lane, full email edition). Very much a self-appointed mascot too. Known to everyone as Tug, he spent more than a decade clad in a red friar’s habit, patrolling the touchline at Rockingham Road while clanking an old air-raid warden’s bell. Tug enjoyed unrestricted access to the home dressing room too, or so he decided, and even joined in goal celebrations. The brush with officialdom mentioned (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) was by no means his only clash with a referee – on another occasion the game was stopped to give him a talking to, as his dashes down the wing were confusing a linesman into raising his flag. Truly they don’t make them like that any more. Cheers” – Peter Wilson.
I’m puzzled as to why Yves Bissouma was recorded inhaling nitrous oxide (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). Surely two seasons watching the Spurs defence at close quarters would have produced sufficient side-splitting hilarity without needing to turn to artificial help” – Alan Giles.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Peter Wilson. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
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