Tottenham went down 6-1 in Sunday's six-pointer against Newcastle following perhaps the worst opening 21 minutes in Premier League history.
Jacob Murphy fired Newcastle ahead inside a minute as Spurs' new-look back four was immediately breached. Joelinton added a second after rounding Hugo Lloris and it was 3-0 within 10 minutes when Murphy struck again, this time spectacularly from range.
Alexander Isak added two smart finishes from close range to complete the first-half rout.
Harry Kane pulled one back for Spurs after the interval but Callum Wilson restored the Toon's five-goal cushion.
Dan Kilpatrick was at St. James' Park to rate the Spurs players' performances...
Hugo Lloris - 1
Well beaten for all five Newcastle goals and easily rounded by Joelinton for number two. Hooked at half-time, apparently after an injury.
Pedro Porro - 1
Dreadfully exposed as a full-back in a back four. Joelinton easily beat him ahead of Murphy's opener and then ran behind him to double Spurs' lead.
Cristian Romero - 1
A World Cup winner in a back four but just as poor as the rest, and all at sea for at least three of the goals.
Eric Dier - 1
Also all over the place positionally as Newcastle ran riot.
Ivan Perisic - 1
Never looked comfortable at left-back and Isak's second goal came down his side.
"BLOWN AWAY WITHIN SIX MINUTES!"
— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) April 23, 2023
What a finish from Joelinton! 👏 pic.twitter.com/mLqUBXOD6Z
Pierre-Emile Hojbjerg - 2
Offered no protection for a wildly exposed back four as Newcastle waltzed through the middle of the pitch repeatedly. Showed some leadership after the break.
Oliver Skipp - 2
See above. Displayed some fight, at least, and booked for a heavy challenge.
Pape Matar Sarr - 2
Failed to challenge Isak for goal number five shortly before he was withdrawn, but hard not to feel he was thrown under the bus somewhat.
Dejan Kulusevski - 2
Made little headway down the right against the imposing Dan Burn and hooked for Arnaut Danjuma.
ISAK!!! IT'S FOUR... WAIT IT'S FIVE!!!! 😱 pic.twitter.com/mYAW10DNeB
— Sky Sports Premier League (@SkySportsPL) April 23, 2023
Heung-min Son - 2
Not lacking effort but his decision making in the final third was miles off.
Harry Kane - 6
Took his goal well after earlier flashing Spurs' only serious chance of the half wide of the far post. Pressed hard. What must he be thinking?
Substitutions
Davinson Sanchez (Sarr, 22') - 5
Comfortably Spurs' best player of the first half by virtue of not being on the pitch for any of Newcastle's goals.
Fraser Forster (Lloris, 45’) - 5
Kept the score down with a smart one-on-one save.
Arnaut Danjuma (72’, Kulusevski) - 4
Made no real impact.
Richarlison (83’, Son) - N/A
Similarly, made little impression.
