Gender roles should really be a thing of the past, but some families still insist on them. To each their own, but if one is going to relegate the mother to staying at home with the kids, the father best be prepared to provide.
A woman turned to the internet for advice when she got a bit harsh with her “broke” husband who didn’t stand up for her to his sexist and traditional family. Netizens shared their own experiences and advice with the mom. We reached out to the wife in the story via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.
Some folks have in-laws who think they know best how to run their families
So one mom had to give her MIL a reality check when she wanted her to be a SAHM
Image credits: GaudiLab / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Schedule1138
Normally, a “traditional” family would at least have a strong father figure
Image credits: Prostock-studio / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
While we might disagree with it, there are families out there that chose to organize themselves by the most traditional methods. The husband works and the wife looks after the house and kids. If all parties involved agree, then more power to them. However, this is very clearly not the case in this family.
After all, the wife has a job and given the contextual clues, it pays more than the husband’s. This is by no means bad. Indeed, this appears to be what this couple agreed upon. However, the moment the MIL shows up, the husband “switches sides” and suddenly has new demands, which he must know don’t make any sense in their household.
Some commenters suggested that she should not have said these things in front of their children, but the mother is hardly the one who started it. After all, what about the kids hearing another adult, the MIL, talking about “a woman’s place” and also them watching their father not stand up for their mother.
Indeed, one of the best things she could have done was set the record straight and provided an example of a woman standing up for herself. Even proponents of a traditional family have to admit, this father is doing very little to reinforce the idea of a “strong male figure” by immediately caving to demands and then running off when the going gets tough. It can be very hard, but sometimes people need to stand up to their parents, even if that means taking drastic measures.
While the wife’s words were harsh, they aren’t as bad as the prescient the parents were setting
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
This is not the first, nor last time someone has unreasonable in-laws and a spouse unwilling to stand up to them. While we don’t know the exact details, it does look like this man’s beliefs and personality really depend on whether his wife or mother is in the room. Setting aside that this is hardly in line with the “traditional” roles his family espouses, it’s also a sign that he is unreliable.
In general, regardless of one’s beliefs, the first responsibility is to his own family, that is, his wife and kids. No matter his opinion, his wife is the breadwinner, she is the person who is bringing in the money that feeds his children. Just as importantly, she is asking him to support her and he immediately crumbles. It’s quite clear he has never properly found a way to not be under her wing, to the detriment of his marriage.
Again, in a “real” traditional marriage, the man is supposed to protect the wife, so in this particular case, the woman has the worst of both worlds. Her words were cruel, but it’s important to note why she directed them at the husband. The parents are set in their ways, there is no more convincing them, indeed, she doesn’t even try. Instead, she has scorn for a man who, ostensibly, agreed to be of assistance, then can’t. For this relationship to last, the couple need to figure out if they can actually cut contact with the parents.
Some readers wanted more info
But most were firm in their belief that the mom was in the right
