The Tottenham supporter Eve De Haan’s account of being sexually assaulted on the tube after Spurs v Brentford is a stark reminder that as much as we love football, it remains a male-dominated space where harmful behaviours can too often go unchecked. It’s not just a football problem; it’s a societal issue that plays out within football. Yet the environment at matches and on public transport lends itself to silence rather than support. We must break that silence. If you were shocked when you read the article, you’re not paying attention.
The figures are damning and we know they’re only the tip of the iceberg. Two million women a year in England and Wales are estimated to be victims of male violence (that’s one in 12) and the figures are increasing year on year. Only 3% of 18- to 24-year-olds in the UK have not been sexually harassed in a public space, a 2021 survey showed. We know the problem for women is far bigger than reported, with the same survey showing that 95% of women do not report incidents of sexual harassment for reasons including fear of not being believed and the traumatic processes involved.
This isn’t just about isolated incidents; it’s about a culture that normalises and excuses male violence against women, allowing it to happen repeatedly and with impunity. And when the jokes, banter and laughter come from bystanders who do nothing, it’s no wonder some men feel they can get away with it.
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Casual sexism (including “banter”) is a gateway to coercive control, violence and abuse. Of course, not everyone who makes bigoted comments will go on to perpetrate violence; but normalisation of sexist language serves as tacit permission and emboldens those who escalate to violence.
Football can’t ignore the fact that until it addresses this head on, these issues will keep surfacing. The question shouldn’t be: “How can women get home safely?” It should be: “Why do men feel emboldened to attack women after football, even with other people nearby?” Too often, we see bystanders –other men – laugh off the behaviour, as if it’s just part of the game-day banter. We need a whole-game approach, where the responsibility to create safe spaces isn’t shifted on to women but taken up by everyone.
As Women of the Lane, a supporter group for women who love Spurs, we exist to create safer spaces and a sense of community among women and non-binary fans. We work with the club to make match-day experiences better, to connect and support Spurs fans who are women, whether that’s through travelling together or creating safer, more inclusive spaces at the ground, and to tackle the sexism and misogyny we face. But let’s be clear: our ultimate goal isn’t for women to have to adapt our behaviour to avoid assault; it’s for men to stop denigrating and assaulting us in the first place.
Thanks to countless organisations working tirelessly to end male violence against women and girls, we have seen a shift towards a shared understanding that casual sexism isn’t harmless. But to finish the job we need men to lead by example. This means standing up, speaking out and challenging their peers when they witness or hear something that crosses the line. Silence is complicity, and there’s no room for bystanders in this fight.
This is about demanding a shift in the mentality that underpins the game we love.
We need to ask what role football can play in shaping these conversations. We know that Premier League players have platforms with huge reach. Let’s see them using those platforms for positive change, talking openly about sexual harassment and violence and why men must play a part in changing it. This isn’t just about policing actions; it’s about transforming attitudes that allow this kind of behaviour to happen.
We urge institutions such as the police and Transport for London to do more but no amount of surveillance, extra patrols or public awareness campaigns will fix this if the core problem persists: a culture where it’s acceptable to treat women this way. You only have to look at the charge and prosecution rates for sexual assault to see that it’s easy to get away with.
Women of the Lane will continue to connect women so we all feel safe at the game we love. But to all the men who love football as much as we do: stand up, be counted and lead the change. It’s time to shift the culture of football to one that truly values safety and respect for us all, regardless of gender.
Chris Paouros is co-founder of Women of the Lane
