STOP! HAMMER TIME!
What a summer it has been at the Olympic Park in Europe’s finest capital city. No, we are not talking about ripped athletes throwing javelins or people who only need to perform for less than 10 seconds to achieve glory. Of course, our focus is on the complete renovation of West Ham United. David Moyes is gone and he has been replaced by a former Real Madrid manager who has made some impressive signings in the window, splashing a load of dosh to do so. Luis Guilherme, Maximilian Kilman, Crysencio Summerville, Niclas Füllkrug and Guido Rodríguez have all rocked up in Stratford, bringing plenty of on-pitch optimism with them.
Julen Lopetegui will be ruddy excited to get going after being able to bring in players of such quality. They even had a nibble for N’Golo Kanté but had to make do with World Cup and Copa América winner Rodríguez, who cost them nowt. Considering they are picking up such bargains, they must be able to give back to their fans by dropping ticket prices rather than, say, whacking on a 7.5% increase and preventing new concessions in the most expensive parts of the ground, making it extortionate to go as a family – but it’s good news for day-trippers.
They will be allowed to spend up to £120 to witness the visit of Manchester City and there’s not a concession ticket in sight. If you want to come to the Füllkrug, you gotta pay top dollar, otherwise he will refuse to perform. A petition opposing the price rises and concession changes has been signed by more than 15,000 people. These are folk who know the risk of losing ageing fans who find enjoyment in the team they have loved for decades and the dangers of losing a generation of younger supporters who will find more cost-effective fun than witnessing a weekend pummelling by Bournemouth.
“It’s an [eff]ing liberty but it’s the way of the world today I’m afraid,” actor Ray Winstone geezered to coinpoker.com. Even those who can afford the whopping top whack £1,720 season tickets will need to take their binoculars because everyone is so far away from the pitch at the London Stadium. Did we mention the taxpayer built it? Anyway, good news about spending £40m on Kilman.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
One of my first meetings with the squad was about the amount of goals we conceded last year with the defensive line very high. We are not working on defensive lines so high. It’s a habit from last year, or years ago, I don’t know. We are trying to drop the defensive line a little bit, usually about four or five metres, just to have some advantage. Last year, we already conceded many goals with this problem. Hopefully we can solve it very soon” – he’s not even taken charge of his first competitive game and Enzo Maresca is already blaming his predecessors for Chelsea losing another pre-season match in the USA USA USA. It was against Real Madrid, mind.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
The image of the Brazilian toilet doors (yesterday’s Memory lane – full email edition), opens up all sorts of wonderful possibilities for footballing toilet door pairings – how about the Glenn Hoddle/Eileen Drewery pairing with Ray Parlour who never played for England again after asking Ms Drewery for a short back and sides appearing on a third door. Or perhaps a dangerously combustible pairing of Mick McCarthy and Roy Keane (Micah Richards could complete that triptych as Keane’s bodyguard). I was going to suggest a John Terry/Wayne Bridge pairing (with Anton Ferdinand maybe making up a three) but Terry will presumably photobomb (paintbomb?) every other pairing fully kitted out ready to claim his rightful place” – Charlie Ashmore.
Re the quickest way to Fulham from Arsenal (Football Daily letters passim), I agree with Neil Baynham’s recommendation not to get on a 220; there will be a wait at Hammersmith for the bus to leave and the almost certainty of sitting in traffic on the Fulham Palace Road with no means of egress (not like the old Routemaster, but we won’t go there). However, changing at Earl’s Court for Putney Bridge involves a shlep up to the District platform (by which time you’d be at Barons Court on the ‘dilly), then waiting for a Wimbledon train (I’m now leaving Hammersmith station, then a 15 minute trip to Putney Bridge. While Neil’s exiting Putney Bridge, walking from Hammersmith I’m taking the equally scenic riverbank route with fine views of Hammersmith Bridge and the old Harrods depository, I’m just beyond the River Cafe. By the time he hits Bishops Park I’m on the last stretch, although of course I’m not because the Crabtree. Reckon I could neck a pint and be in the ground, chugging a plastic pint, while Neil is still in Bishops Park” – Mark Dawson.
Publishing a letter about London public transport, a subject dear to many a pedant’s heart, is bad enough. But to then publish a reply with odd spelling (‘toe-path?’), a subject that inevitably brings out all the worst pedants from their basements? In my best Charlton Heston voice: ‘You Maniacs!’ – Kristian Karamflies.
Re yesterday’s Football Daily and a ‘statistical reminder of a system that doesn’t care’. Are you saying Conor Gallagher is the one in 10 as per UB40?” – Robert Pinkevitch.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is Charlie Ashmore. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
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