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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Comment
Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

This was the year I nearly resorted to an elite baby sleep trainer. But there is another way

Mother asleep next to cot with baby awake
‘I believed on some level that sleep training would make me a bad mother. Yet I desperately needed rest.’ Photograph: ferrantraite/Getty Images (posed by models)

Sleep, I came to understand this year, is everything. Without sleep, action, change and momentum all feel impossible. Without sleep, you are living half a life, an existence that is less about living and more about getting through. My husband and I entered 2023 in a state of complete exhaustion. Our baby had been hospitalised several times and through a combination of terror, survival and necessity, he and I had entered a co-sleeping arrangement that saw him waking every hour for milk.

My husband was working full time and I was trying to juggle being essentially a stay-at-home mother with writing my column and promoting a book. The only reason I was still sane was because my husband consistently shared feeding and nights from the beginning, and at the worst times would often take the baby until the early hours so I could get a block of sleep from, say, 8pm until 2am. If I had had a less supportive husband or a baby that didn’t take a bottle from him, or if my lovely mother hadn’t stepped in when things got really tough, I suspect I would have lost my mind.

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