Motorcycle addicts like me, and probably you, have a remarkable ability to make terrible financial decisions sound perfectly reasonable. $1,200 for an exhaust? Well, obviously. $300 for billet levers because the stock ones look boring? Necessary. Carbon fiber parts that shave roughly the weight of a sandwich off your bike? Basically performance engineering.
But even by our standards, spending $6,740 on a clock requires a certain commitment to the bit.
And yet, here we are. French watchmaker, or if you want to be fancy, horologist, B.R.M Chronographes has created something called the Clock Machines V-Twin, and it's exactly what the name suggests: a lavish desk clock built to resemble a motorcycle V-twin engine. It costs $6,740, meaning you could conceivably buy an actual running motorcycle for less money and still have something left over for a helmet, insurance, and yes, a perfectly functioning wall clock from Walmart.
The annoying part is that this isn't some plastic engine-shaped clock you'd find next to novelty gas-station signs in a man cave catalog. B.R.M machines the body from solid aluminum in France, with two finned cylinders forming the centerpiece. Each cooling fin is individually turned and satin-finished, while lacquered rocker covers sit on top and tiny exhaust manifolds poke out toward the rear. The dial sits right in the valley between the cylinders, exactly where your eyes naturally land.
Even the structure holding the clock face gets unnecessarily nerdy. Two pierced supports form an X beneath the dial, mimicking the geometry of engine mounts in a motorcycle frame. There's a numbered plaque at the bottom, and buyers can choose among several finishes including Garnet Red, France Blue, Horizon Blue, Saffron Yellow, Coral Orange, and Opaline White. Each finish is limited to just 20 numbered examples.
It isn't small, either. The whole thing stands about 12 inches tall and stretches roughly 14.4 inches wide, so this is less desk accessory and more mechanical sculpture that happens to tell you you're late for work. Inside is a fairly pedestrian quartz movement, backed by a 10-year warranty, and B.R.M says the battery should only need replacing about once every three years.
If $6,740 somehow isn't enough clock for you, there are options. A carbon-fiber dial adds around $520, while a carbon insert in the base costs another $790. Because, of course, the fake motorcycle engine on your desk needs carbon fiber. At that point, restraint has clearly left the chat anyway.
Perhaps my favorite detail is that B.R.M offers payment plans. French customers can spread the purchase across three or four interest-free payments, or even finance one over 36 months at zero percent, subject to approval. Yes, you can effectively make monthly payments on your V-twin clock just like you would on an actual motorcycle.
It's objectively ridiculous. It's spectacularly expensive. And there are countless motorcycles I'd rather spend $6,740 on. Unfortunately, I also really want one of these clocks for my mancave.
