What's the best way to get over a breakup?
Though we can't snap our fingers and make the hurt disappear, there are coping mechanisms that will help make us feel like our regular selves again. But above all, relationship and dating coaches all agree that there's one factor to be mindful of while healing. And yes, it's easier than you'd think.
What is the best way to get over a breakup?
While there aren't any instructions to follow and everyone is affected by heartbreak differently, regardless of who you are, you need to be 100% in tune with yourself and your needs when dealing with a breakup. Now more than ever, you'll have to listen to your gut and take the next steps toward finding harmony, and that will look differently for everyone.
Getting over a breakup never looks totally the same for everyone, but fortunately, the pros have a few rules for perfecting the ultimate rule: you doing you.
1. Don't rush
One day you might want to sit on the couch with a box of Kleenex. The next, you could be ready to head out and meet up with friends for dinner. Honor your timeline the way it makes sense to you, regardless of what anyone thinks.
"Give yourself grace and tow the line between pushing yourself to get out and do things you love, while giving yourself the space to rest and grieve the loss of your relationship," says Erika Kaplan, the VP of Membership at Three Day Rule Matchmaking.
2. Start journaling
Let all of your thoughts out—the good and bad. (And who knows, perhaps guided journaling could inspire a bestseller?!)
"Writing down the "bad" stuff also helps to remind yourself of the reasons it didn't work out," says matchmaker and relationship coach Julia Bekker. "If you have the perspective that this was not right for you and someone else who is right is out there and you will find them, it will be easier to get through."
3. Think ahead
While we're not saying you have to fill up your 2023 planners with to-do lists and dinner reservations—though if that's what will make you happy, by all means—but you do have to start thinking about the future. the
"Remember who you are and that endings bring you to new beginnings," Bekker says. "There are other people out there for you to explore. Breaking up means they were not the right person for you, and now you can find the person who is."
Likewise, Kaplan insists on listening to an age-old saying, even if it is cheesy.
"As trite as it sounds, time heals all wounds," Kaplan notes. "It won't feel this painful forever, and there really is usually a reason that it didn't work out."
There's a reason this little adage has been around as long as breakups.
4. Do what you love
Don't skip out on the activities that make you whole.
"Try to focus on the things you love that have nothing to do with dating or this previous relationship," Kaplan recommends. "Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, loved and supported. Dive into hobbies you enjoy."
