Relationships require compromise. And while we try to meet our partners where they’re at and understand where they’re coming from, sometimes it’s impossible to find middle ground. Especially when they have a phobia that’s starting to become a massive inconvenience.
After one man’s irrational fear began causing problems in his relationship, he reached out to Reddit to find out if he was in the wrong for refusing to hop into the passenger seat of his girlfriend’s car. Below, you’ll find the full story that he shared, as well as some of the replies readers shared hoping to give him some new perspective.
This man has had a fear of female drivers since he was a child
Image credits: OlhaRomaniuk / Envato (not the actual photo)
But his girlfriend believes that it’s time for him to get over it
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: aitagfnotdriving
Driving is one of the most dangerous things that people regularly do
Image credits: Joey Lu / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Getting behind the wheel can be scary for anyone, regardless of their gender. Forbes reports that in the United States alone, 42,514 fatal car accidents occurred during 2022, and during the same year, nearly 6 million auto accidents were reported to police.
Some of the most common causes for car crashes include drunk driving, speeding, distracted driving and driving while drowsy. But unfortunately, there are a million different ways these accidents can occur, and no one can ever be 100% sure that they’re safe while on the road.
In fact, it is relatively common to have a fear of driving, VeryWell Mind notes on their site. This fear, amaxophobia, often stems from having a bad experience on the road, such as being in a traumatic car accident, or observing how family and friends treat driving. For example, if you’ve seen your father drive drunk your entire life, you may be acutely aware of the dangers that other drivers may pose towards you.
While this isn’t the phobia present in this particular situation, it is understandable for people to be aware of the risks of getting into a vehicle.
Women tend to be even safer drivers than men
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When it comes to the issue of this man only being scared of female drivers, however, it can be easy to assume that sexism may be a factor. We’ve all heard misogynistic jokes about how women are terrible drivers and that men are much better behind the wheel. But is there any truth behind these jests?
According to The New York Times, male drivers of cars and vans are responsible for twice as many fatal accidents than women. Male truck drivers also account for four times as many fatal accidents as female truck drivers, and men riding motorcycles cause nearly 12 times as many accidents as women motorcyclists.
So you might be thinking, “Well, men are better technical drivers than women.” But actually, a study from Netstar found that women performed better than men in a variety of metrics related to technical skills, including avoiding potholes, harsh braking, harsh acceleration and harsh cornering. Another study also found that, although women may take more time when parking, they’re more accurate than men when doing so.
Both men and women can be responsible for causing accidents, but Bruckheim & Patel law firm reports that men tend to make more risky decisions behind the wheel. They are more likely to use substances while driving, and they receive over two thirds of all traffic violations.
Overcoming a phobia is difficult but not impossible
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In this case, however, it does not sound like statistics will help the author overcome his phobia. So what will? According to Verywell Mind, about 12.5% of American adults struggle with a specific phobia at some point. And there are five types of specific phobias: animal type, natural environment type, blood-injection-injury type, situational type and other.
When it comes to conquering these fears, Verywell Mind recommends working on desensitizing yourself, finding support in others with the same or similar phobias, joining a support group, using relaxation, visualization and breathing techniques, and seeking treatment.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a common tactic used for treating specific phobias, and medication can sometimes help as well.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this man was wrong for refusing to let his girlfriend drive him around? Feel free to weigh in, and then if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda piece discussing bad drivers, look no further than right here!
Later, the man provided some more background information
Readers also gave the author advice for conquering his phobia
Many took the girlfriend’s side, noting that it’s time for the man to work on conquering his fear
However, some empathized with the author and suggested that he start therapy
