Think before shouting at your child: to them, words can be as harmful as physical blows

‘Decades of research have shown that authoritarian management of a child does harm.’ Photograph: True Images/Alamy

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a phrase often repeated to children in the hope that they will learn that they cannot be hurt by name-calling or verbal abuse. In fact, words are humans’ most powerful tools, and harsh language used against children can damage them for the rest of their life.

It is natural to respond to a “naughty” child by shouting – and children are forgiving of, and are surprisingly empathic in relation to, parental stress. But let us not deceive ourselves that verbal intimidation such as shouting, yelling or screaming at children leaves no scars. Or that being humiliated and ridiculed leaves children unaffected.