‘They rip off his hat, pull up his T-shirt and yank at his beard’: my afternoon as Santa’s personal bodyguard

‘He screams, as cheerily as possible’: a brief lapse in attention from his personal protection can spell disaster for Santa. Photograph: brazzo/Getty Images/iStockphoto

Recently my partner was invited to reprise his performance as Santa Claus at our kids’ childcare Christmas party.

Playing the big guy is a privilege and a challenge. Up there with King Lear and Willy Loman, the role requires unique skills, as does my own default position as Mrs Claus/Santa’s CPPO (Claus Personal Protection Officer).