These evangelical men saved sex for marriage – they weren’t well prepared

‘Purity culture enforced rigid gender roles: men were cast as aggressors; girls were told not to tempt them.’ Illustration: Simone Noroha/The Guardian

Like many people, reaching the age of 40 inspired Matt to do some self-reflection. He had achieved many hallmarks of adulthood: a college degree, a career he enjoyed, and two beloved dogs. But he’d never had a relationship, or even a sexual partner.

This weighed heavy on him; he craved the experience of a deep romantic connection and wondered how it might feel to be in love.