There will never be no wrong VAR calls – but is having refs in charge the right one?

Luis Díaz (in red) finishes superbly after a quickfire Liverpool break, but the on-field offside call was not overturned by VAR due to confusion at Stockley Park. Photograph: Marc Atkins/Getty Images

I will love it if we beat them. You can’t win anything with kids. When the seagull follows the trawler. I am a special one. Time to add another unforgettable line to the history of the Premier League: “That’s wrong that, Daz.”

Four words of agonising paralysis from the VAR room. By the end it sounds like the black box recording of pilot and co-pilot careering into a mountain: “Can’t do anything.” “No.” “I can’t do anything.” Three seconds of silence. “[Expletive].”