Within the first two minutes of Netflix’s new series The Ultimatum: Queer Love, you already know exactly what sort of brazen reality TV shtick is going to unfurl. “You guys slept together?” asks one woman, her eyes narrowing as dramatic music thumps in the background. Another replies, indignantly: “Uh, she led my hand … to her vagina.”
The next few episodes can best be summed up as follows: endless tears and cocktails, jealous glances across the fire pit and that very specific grim vocal tone usually reserved for long-term couples engaging in arguments they have rehearsed many times before. This time, though, each person is being watched: by viewers, multiple cameras and nine other emotional contestants, all packed on to the same outdoor patio with a bar.
