THE death of Queen Elizabeth has triggered a moment of national hysteria not seen in the UK perhaps in living memory.
We asked on our front page if the UK – amid reports of republican protesters being arrested, marches and events being shut down – had gone mad.
The Jouker thinks the answer to this is a resounding “yes”, if these astonishing “marks of respect” are anything to by.
Morrisons turning down checkout beeps
As a mark of respect to Her late Maj, the supermarket Morrisons has turned down the beeping noise on checkouts while the country is in enforced mourning.
The retailer yesterday denied rumours it had turned off the beeps altogether, saying it had simply turned down the volume on their tills and that music and tannoy announcements were switched off.
Staff members will presumably be calling for a clean-up in aisle four by a series of mournful smoke signals more in keeping with the period of national misery.
Met Office dialling down social media presence
The Met Office announced the day after news broke the Queen had died that it would reduce its social media output during the mourning period.
In a tweet posted the day after the Queen’s death, the forecaster initially appeared to say it would only be providing daily forecasts and weather warnings (because that’s what the tweet actually said).
Around three hours later, after concern was raised they would be pausing rolling coverage and 10-day forecasts, the Met Office was forced to clarify they would be maintaining their regular weather updates, merely pausing their tedious blog posts and other bits and bobs social media managers post to increase brand engagement.
This means you'll still get your forecasts as normal but you'll be spared posts such as this completely unremarkable picture of clouds.
Thankyou @Iceman2606Wx for sharing this impressive image of the convective skies over #Northamptonshire, taken yesterday 📸 With similar conditions today we would love to see your images, share them below using #LoveUKWeather 👇 pic.twitter.com/srqo9vw5RT
— Met Office (@metoffice) September 7, 2022
Dan Wootton
GB News presenter was so cut up about the passing of auld Betty he got himself down to Buckingham Palace two days after the news broke (he’s a busy chap) to lay flowers at the gates, then pose like Mr Burns from The Simpsons, while glancing around him to make sure others could see how heartfelt his grief was.
More tickling: Someone claims to have witnessed Dan’s moment of “quiet reflection” and said it took him four takes to master the correct level of solemnity before he was happy enough to post the video.
I wanted to return to Buckingham Palace today for some quiet reflection and lay my own tribute. Crowds young, old, from all ethnicities and backgrounds. Truly the best of British doing her justice. pic.twitter.com/Uz8Vok3YN2
— Dan Wootton (@danwootton) September 10, 2022
His move was also the exact same thing he mocked Prince Harry and Meghan Markle for two years earlier when they handily had a photographer to hand as the notoriously publicity-shy couple laid flowers on Remembrance Sunday.
M&S
Marks and Sparks have captured the true spirit of mourning by closing all their UK shops except the ones in London and Windsor on the day of the Queen’s funeral – which is to be a bank holiday.
The retailer expects millions of mourners to be in need of some pre-mixed gin and tonics and sausage rolls to keep them going as they pay their respects at the late monarch’s two main gaffs.
Everyone else in the country will need to hold in their Percy Pigs cravings for 24 hours – or stock up beforehand, if you really don’t think you can last.
Norwich bike racks
In a move recalling the heady days of early lockdown, Norwich City Council closed – yes, closed – a bike rack outside its City Hall from Friday, September 9 to Wednesday, September 21, as a mark of respect.
Because of the royal period of mourning, you can’t lock your bike to a cycle rack in Norwich. pic.twitter.com/QuFYmUizLj
— Jeremy Hutchinson (@Themightyhutch) September 11, 2022
The council said that they had merely closed one rack near the spot people were laying flowers at the municipal building to prevent flowers getting trampled.
But another had been closed where people will queue to sign the book of condolences for the Queen, the council added, because they were presumably concerned mourners may trip over a stray bicycle. They’ve since replaced the signs with clearer ones.
