The Washington Post has a new podcast up this week about the ways that AI is changing online dating. Some of these ways risk crossing the line into the territory of deception. I have written previously in law review articles here and here about the issues with deception in online dating, from sexual fraud to hiding one's true identity for purposes of financial fraud or downright violence.
Deploying AI as a learning tool seems relatively unproblematic and could even turn someone into a genuinely better partner. Users of AI dating coaches have at times reported positive experiences with self-development in the relationship context. When it comes to coaching, one way to describe the line into the unethical might be the distinction between truly improving oneself versus seeking out manipulation techniques to trick others, in the genre of pick-up artists.
Those who use AI in the online dating context should ask themselves if their interaction style in the physical world will fail to reflect the image that the AI-improved texting suggested. Another, related question is whether their mate would experience frustration if they learned the extent of said AI use. It would certainly be unethical to use AI to engage in what Prof. Jill Hasday has deemed in her book on intimate lies and the law "linchpin deception," meaning to hide a known dealbreaker (sometimes in the hope of overcoming it via personal charm or the like down the line).
