Lesley Stuart-Torrie from Penarth thought her major, life-changing experience would be the birth of her daughter Blossom. But it wasn't.
Just two weeks after her daughter's birth, Lesley found her husband having a fit in the bathroom. She says: "It was absolutely horrendous. We were living by Llandough hospital at the time and within two-and-a-half minutes the ambulance came. If they hadn't come soon and I hadn't been there, he would have died."
David was diagnosed with a subarachnoid haemorrhage, an uncommon but very serious type of stroke caused by bleeding on the surface of the brain that can be fatal.
READ MORE: Mum who lost everything and was down to her last 99p now runs her own business
Lesley says: "From that moment in time my life completely changed, I wasn't Lesley anymore, I was mother to a fourth child, and to David, who came out of hospital in a wheelchair. I got through it day by day. And if you've heard of the charity Headway, they've been absolutely fantastic. If we hadn't have had them in our lives I don't know where I'd be now."
Lesley gave up her job in an offenders' centre in Cardiff and after two years opened a coffee shop in Llantwit Major, but eventually had to close the business to concentrate solely on being David's carer. Although their marriage didn't survive she has been looking after him ever since, with £80 a week left for food and heating after rent and various bills were paid.
She says: "We couldn't really afford childcare, so I finished the job that I was doing because it was just too stressful supporting other people, supporting Dave and looking after our daughter, and my parent's health too."
But then while scrolling through Facebook before Easter 2023, Lesley came across a post from Emporium Productions looking for participants for the Channel 5 show Rich House Poor House, where two families who don't know each other from a 'rich' background and a 'poor' background swap homes, lives, experiences and expenditure for a week.
Lesley says: "It looked exciting for my possible future and because I want the programme to portray a carer's life because there are a lot of unpaid carers out there. Dave's got a hidden disability, people don't know he's had a brain injury. You look at him and he looks OK. And I've cared for him for 13 years, that's why our marriage split up because I wasn't just his wife, I was his carer too. Even though we're divorced you don't just leave a brain injury - it's there all the time, it's not just their injury, it's a family injury, and being the person I am I can't just switch off, can't stop."
Lesley decided to apply for the show, to take a chance on being accepted and a springboard to do something now for herself, with the looming prospect of a significant rise in her rent another reason to spur her on to apply to be on the show.
She says: "I felt excited and daunted - oh my God, what is this going to entail? The crew were with me the whole week and they became like our family, and they ended up crying with me, we were hugging - it was beautiful, such an emotional time.
"The backstory to the programme you see is very challenging, upsetting, very emotional - I cried every day when I was being filmed. And I cried when I watched it, when they (production company) sent us the preview. I still cry because it's so unfair, the way my life has turned, it's just awful.
"I never ever got over what happened because it's been a constant struggle, every single day has been a struggle and with a brain injury, it can be on a level for a little while, then it goes down, then it goes back up but it's never an even keel. And that affects your emotions and your daily routine. I'm his motivation so where do I get my motivation from? But you have to keep on going."
Lesley and David swap lives with property and interiors entrepreneur Nicky Bright and her daughter Morgan from Cardiff. Nicky has worked hard to build a successful business from having just 99p in her purse due to a divorce leaving her broke and homeless. Find out more about Nicky's story in the exclusive WalesOnline article here.
Nicky says: "From the feature that WalesOnline did, the article got picked up by Channel 5 and they contacted me and said they’re changing the model set up of Rich House Poor House and it’s not always going to be about the multi-millionaire and somebody poor because we’re in an economic climate where people are really struggling at the moment, with heating and food, and it would look very bad.
"So they were looking more for people who were broke but have found a way out, made themselves successful and it was more of an inspirational story to show others how they could do it from nothing.
"I didn’t even like the idea for Rich House Poor House, I think it’s a bit degrading for people, but when they said they were looking for people who have managed to come out of a broke situation and to give people the hope for the future, to think 'Actually I am good at something and if I focus on it I could achieve something', I felt very excited. The thought of being able to help someone is fantastic."
The production company does not tell the programme's participants who they are swapping lives, homes and budgets with, or where they are going to be staying, so Nicky and Morgan ended up in a semi-rural, cute converted barn near Penarth and Lesley and David ended up somewhere they were not expecting.
Lesley says: "I was really disappointed that it wasn't Nicky's house, I thought 'Where the hell are we?' In the other episodes you've always gone to the other person's house but this wasn't, this was her business, and there was no personal stuff there. I was expecting there to be big gates, there's going to be a long drive and there's going to be a mansion house - my face was a picture!"
Lesley says it took her and Dave a few days to eventually find out what it was all about - that Nicky was showing them the business that she has built up from nothing as an inspiration as to a future partnership.
Meanwhile, Nicky and Megan turned up at a cute converted barn and were rather confused too. Nicky says: "When I got to the house I’m stumped - it’s clean and tidy and in an affluent area, and you wonder what’s gone on here and then you maybe realised that she has maybe lost her job - something critical has happened to this lady for her to be claiming benefits because she would've been desperate, like I was, not to let go of what she’d worked hard all her life for."
One element of the swap that both sides of the story were shocked to discover was the weekly budget. There was a budget of £80 for Nicky, who likes to splash the cash on designer gear. And Lesley got a surprise too when she opened the budget envelope.
She says: "It was £1,700 a week disposable income! So for those days I was away I had no worries, I didn't have to worry about food, I didn't have to worry about petrol, I didn't have to worry about anything. Blossom was with my mum, Dave was with me so I knew he was safe, and I didn't have to worry about anything."
When the four participants met at the end of the programme it was a pivotal moment for Lesley both emotionally and for the future. She says: " I'm not very good with strangers and it's quite difficult really because you've been put into someone's life and spending their money and because I'd been going through six days of emotion the last day was building up - like Christmas morning, that feeling in your stomach - you're excited but how is it going to make you feel? And I missed home, missed seeing Blossom and missed my mum because the whole thing was emotion overload."
At the meeting Nicky suggests some ways for Lesley to start changing her situtation, with her help and investment, but that it was going to take time and effort. Nicky says: "When I met Lesley it was lovely because I have so much enthusiasm to know that I can help her. She loves interiors, she paints her own furniture, so I’ve paid for her to do a diploma in interior design so she’ll be qualified in that, and also a year of business mentoring with networking company I Am Woman, and they have also sponsored her for a year.
"I want to go into business with her and I still want to help do this, but you can’t just give money away, you need to make sure the person has the ability to run a business. We have to have a business plan and she can’t just suddenly come off benefits, she needs to pay bills.
"So we have to take her through a process, healing, she’s gone through such a horrific time with lots of personal things, we’ve given her lots of support through Business in Wales and Welsh Government, while learning and growing knowledge and gaining confidence - which is what she and we need.
"Then, when the right property comes along we’ll snap it up - maybe a coffee shop or little pub where I can convert the upstairs to an Airbnb for her. Not too big a project for her, because it is a lot of work. A lot of people like the idea of having their own business but they don’t see the hard work behind it, what you have to put in."
Lesley is still processing the whole experience and she is excited about the future, inspired by Nicky and the women she has met in the two I Am Woman meetings she has attended so far.
She says: "The days after filming I was like - 'what have we just done, where have I just been?!' - it was really quiet because it was like a whirlwind for six days. I Am Woman are absolutely fantastic and Cheryl Bass who runs it is such a wonderful woman and I've got her for an hour of mentoring as well."
The support network aims to help women holistically so there's a whole range of people available for advice including a health coach.
Lesley says: "There's someone who can help with how I look so I can feel more confident and another one is going to help me with a website when I do launch a business - they're so welcoming and giving - and I feel like a bit of a fraud as I have nothing to give - I want to give them something! I had thought that I'm not worthy of going, I've lost my confidence, I don't know how to speak to people - all those old things that come back to you from being a child and I'm like, 'you're an adult, come on Lesley, stop it!'"
For now Lesley is enjoying absorbing all the information from the meetings and thinking about what business she could do with Nicky's support before they dive into something.
Lesley says: "I can't just stop benefits and stop being Dave's carer, it needs to be a process. But I am massively excited, I can't describe how excited I am, with that lump in your throat and that turn in your stomach. It's like having that bike for Christmas and you can't wait to get it, I'm so excited.
"I hope that being on the show does change my life for the better - it has to, I cannot take this life anymore, I'm almost 55, I need some comfort. I don't want to be relying on benefits and I don't want to be renting a private property. I want to be self-sufficient in at least five years time, I don't think I can do it in just two or three. But this whole experience isn't all about me, even more than that I want everyone to know how difficult it is being a carer, but that you're not alone."
To make sure you don't miss any property stories including property and interiors television, sign up to the property newsletter here, so you don't miss a thing. This story is episode 4 in season 9 of the show and is currently available to watch on Channel 5 service My5.
For more dream homes, renovation stories, interiors advice and property celebrity interviews, competitions and discounts too, get your copy of the Amazing Welsh Homes glossy magazine – last few remaining copies available for a special price of £2.99. Buy the magazine here.
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