Donald Trump can’t go five minutes without putting his grotesquely swollen foot in his mouth. Just the other day, he was openly musing whether going to war with Iran was actually such a good idea after all, something quickly ‘clarified’ by his panicked hangers-on.
Now he can’t even make fun of his enemies correctly! Yesterday, Trump was trying to mock California Governor Gavin Newsom for having dyslexia (real classy, Donald), but, in a deeply ironic twist, stumbled over his own words so badly he inadvertently gave him a huge promotion:
Trump:
— Adam Schwarz (@AdamJSchwarz) March 16, 2026
"The President of the United States Gavin Newscum admitted that he has learning disabilities."
Yes, he actually called @GavinNewsom the "President of the United States" while trying to insult his cognition. pic.twitter.com/osEohVmupQ
“The President of the United States Gavin Newscum admitted that he has learning disabilities… dyslexia… Uhmm… everything about him is… dumb.”
Watch out, Oscar Wilde, because Donny “the silver tongue” Trump is here with some truly cutting put-downs like “everything about him is… dumb”. I’m sure I don’t need to point out the irony of Trump calling Newsom “dumb” while also naming him as the current president.
“Now that I, Gavin C. Newsom, am officially President of the United States…”
Newsom himself didn’t miss a beat, with his press office releasing a mocking response:
NOW THAT I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, AM OFFICIALLY PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES (THANK YOU DONALD!), I HAVE MANY BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS TO MAKE! FIRST, EVERY TRUMP EXECUTIVE ORDER IS NULL AND VOID, STEPHEN MILLER AND EVERY TRUMP GOON IS FIRED, AND THE TRUMP CORRUPTION PROBE IS OFFICIALLY…
— Governor Newsom Press Office (@GovPressOffice) March 17, 2026
Now that I, Gavin C. Newsom, am officially President of the United States (thank you, Donald!), I have many big announcements to make! First, every Trump executive order is null and void, Stephen Miller and every Trump goon is fired, and the Trump corruption probe is officially launched!Health care is now free for all Americans (no measles!), and all moms get free childcare so we can have more babies!!!
Also, cannabis is now legal and abortion is back for women who want it. I will soon be banning all Ticketmaster fees, and there will be no more commercials allowed during NBA and NFL games, as well as all Bravo “Real Housewives” shows (longer episodes!). Every American family now gets a “Tariff and Gas Spike Refund” to buy a cheap electric car! The country is now run by someone who can actually complete a sentence. America is now “hot” because you have a dyslexic President instead of a brain-dead one. Big upgrade!!!
Newsom himself later clarified that while he appreciates Trump’s offer to hand over the presidency to him, he’d still prefer to be voted into office by the people:
NO THANK YOU, WE BELIEVE IN FREE ELECTIONS!
— Gavin Newsom (@GavinNewsom) March 16, 2026https://t.co/GXnBVUzEkI
Seems like it won’t be long for Trump now. We’ve known his brain was disintegrating for some time, but if it’s gotten to the point where he can’t even mock his enemies without embarrassing himself before the world, the situation must be critical.
