The place that stayed with me: I was cautious in showing my queerness, until a night spent dancing at a Tokyo gay bar

‘I had often heard that in Japanese culture, physical affection is kept to the privacy of the home, and never for public display’: Daniel Nour, right, and his boyfriend in Japan Photograph: Daniel Nour

The first time I saw gay people on TV, it was during an ABC news package about Sydney’s Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. My Egyptian parents were chomping through a bag of dried pumpkin seeds when the assault on our eyeballs took place.

Muscle bears in backless chaps, shirtless lifesavers in tiny budgie smugglers, chunky women with buzzcuts and saucer-plate nipples revving their Harley-Davidsons down the strip. It was too much for my father, who announced: “Atstaghfurallah: they should not show such things.” Mum just sucked her teeth in dismay. But the sight of all the handsome, gleaming men sent a hot flush of excitement up my 12-year-old cheeks.