The Pickup is easily the worst Eddie Murphy movie in recent memory. That’s right: worse than A Thousand Words, the Liar Liar ripoff so underwhelming that Murphy had to take a break from making comedies. And worse than Norbit, the Nutty Professor ersatz probably costing him the Oscar for Dreamgirls. At least in those comedy clunkers, Murphy came to play. He made clear either through advanced prosthetics or through sheer force of personality that he could deliver a satisfying performance no matter the premise – or, better still: elevate hackneyed material. But in this straight-to-Prime Video snoozefest Murphy struggles to hide his age and boredom while looking for all the world like a hostage in his own heist flick.
It takes work to make Murphy entirely unfunny, and this film manages the job one-handed. It surrounds him with a playful cast: Eva Longoria, a true all-rounder; Pete Davidson, the SNL stitch-up; and Keke Palmer, maybe the funniest woman of her generation. But then it delivers them a script written by two guys – Kevin Burrows and Matt Mider – best known for a web series about anthropomorphic lobsters. It all comes together in 90 of the longest minutes you’ll ever spend in front of a screen, provided you even make it that far.
