Yet another piece on how birth has been hijacked by one or other of the cults that surround how women should live their lives (‘Women feel like failures if they haven’t had a “normal” birth’: how the NCT has shaped childbirth in the UK, 27 August).
A good and trouble-free pregnancy is no indication that birth will follow the same pattern. When it comes to squeezing a fully-formed human being through a narrow tunnel, things can go wrong very quickly. When that happens, we need professionals around who ensure that mother and baby are as OK as possible in the circumstances. There is no room for a stubborn, idealistic response when intervention is the only way to save the day. Birth is messy and painful, and it is cruel to make women believe that they have failed if they need help to deal with this.
When I had my first child in the early 1980s, my midwife recommended a good book that covered the process from conception to birth, and which also had an extensive amount about the things that can go wrong. This was a godsend, because when it did all go a bit ghastly, I knew what was going on and why. Women need to know this stuff, because how else are they to understand what is normal and what to expect?
When it comes to bringing new life into the world, know that it doesn’t follow the rules. To make it as safe as possible, we need to step away from zealotry and instead react immediately to what we see in front of us. So tell women what can go wrong, tell them that pain relief isn’t a cop-out, tell them that breastfeeding doesn’t always work and formula is fine, hear their fears and don’t dismiss them, and stop making them feel guilty.
Michelle Gibson
Cambridge
• The NCT did much to improve the lot of pregnant women in the late 1960s and 1970s. When my first baby was born in 1975, thanks to the York branch of the NCT my husband was allowed to be there at the delivery.
Women were the victims of ultra-medicalised obstetrics. We lay on our backs, episiotomies were the norm, as was the compulsory dose of castor oil followed by an enema. The NCT fought tirelessly for more relaxed deliveries and a relaxation of four-hour feeding routines.
I’m so grateful to the NCT. Of course, there still are huge dangerous imperfections and tragedies, but just don’t blame an organisation that has done so much for women. I still use my “NCT breathing and singing” when I have a serious dental procedure.
Janet Mansfield
Alteyrac, Chirac, France
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