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The Guardian - US
The Guardian - US
Lifestyle
Matthew Cantor

Trophy wives, subversive reading and ejaculation: lessons from 2025’s best graduation speeches

a puppet wearing a cap and gown addresses a stadium full of people
Kermit the Frog speaks during University of Maryland's commencement ceremony on 22 May in College Park. Photograph: John T Consoli/AP

America’s higher education may be under attack from the federal government – but students from the class of 2025 still have to graduate. And so commencement season, somehow, occurred, with the world’s best and brightest politicians, entertainers and athletes, plus a frog, presenting their hard-earned wisdom. From Percival Everett to Simone Biles to President Trump himself, here are 10 lessons we’ve learned from the year’s graduation speeches.

Your future can be derailed by irresponsible ejaculation

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