I met Joseph in Christchurch, New Zealand in 2012 at the afterparty of a theatre show I’d been in. He showed some interest and even asked me out on a date, but nothing came of it.
The next time I saw him, on a drunken night out with mutual friends, I hassled him about his lack of follow-through; the result was a messy one-night stand. No one was in great form, and let’s just say it has never been spoken of again. Unsurprisingly, there was a bit of ghosting after that. But we kept running into each other.
I graduated from drama school the same year and we found ourselves in the same friendship and improv group. We were seeing each other multiple times a week, eventually shook off any lingering awkwardness and became mates.
A few months later I joined the writing team of the same TV show Joseph was working on and the amount of time we were spending together exploded – pulling regular all-nighters and collaborating closely. We were naturally drawn to each other at work because we have the same sense of humour and liked writing the same kind of skits. We both loved working on the songs especially.
This platonic professional vibe went on for nearly five years. Eventually we were spending so much time together I realised he was actually my best friend.
Around this time my long-term relationship broke down and we started our comedy duo Two Hearts. Then the lines started to get a bit blurry between us. People were always asking if we’d gotten drunk and hooked up again. And we kind of did, but it was way lamer. We just held hands at the casino after a gig and weirded each other out.
Not long after, in winter 2017 on a weekend away with friends, we sealed the deal. Realising we’d definitely left the friendzone, we sat down a few days later to have an absurdly formal chat about the state of affairs. Joseph is a sensitive guy but he doesn’t exactly wear his heart on sleeve, so it really took me aback when he said, “Isn’t this what everyone wants? To fall in love with their best friend?”
I realised he was right: I knew everything about him and there would be no surprises. It was a whirlwind and we were suddenly a full-fledged item. Friends and family weren’t surprised at how things had played out and all the positive affirmations we got from them made it feel so natural – like we were on the right track.
Not long after we became official there was this one day: we’d had this long, stressful day at the TV show followed by an intense Two Hearts rehearsal. After all that I still went to see a movie from the Fast and Furious franchise with him, which totally isn’t my thing.
Sitting there in the cinema wondering what the hell I was doing, I realised that even after the day we’d had (and despite the movie choice) I was still having fun. I knew then I had it bad. I was in love with this guy.
During the next few years between work, our show, improv and as a couple, we were spending every second of the day together. Joseph squeezed in a proposal the weekend before my 30th birthday in 2020; our New Year’s wedding was the best.
Having our professional and personal lives so epically entwined can be tricky at times, but we make it work and mostly have fun doing it. Joseph is incredibly supportive and we find each other hilarious, which is so important. Where there’s laughter, there’s happiness.
Two Hearts perform at the Edinburgh festival fringe until 25 August
