Back in the days when The Guide was a chunky A5 newspaper supplement rather than this sleek digital newsletter, it ran a column called The Hard Sell where, every week, a TV advertisement would get a gentle shoeing by a writer. Any ad that was particularly egregious would make an appearance – celebs whispering about perfume, ads for whisky companies where everyone is having fun “responsibly” rather than drinking themselves into a stupor, Kevin Bacon shouting about 5G. There were certain recurring themes that would crop up, too – there was a period where 90% of adverts seemed to feature a Yorkshire man reading a poem (“this is for the dreamers, the strivers, the deep sea divers … visit sandalsholidays-dot-com for more”, that sort of thing). And who can forget the betting site reign of terror of the mid 00s, when braying lads with nicknames like The Gut Truster roamed the land, barking odds at whichever consumer had the misfortune of encountering them.
The Hard Sell was retired in 2017, but if it was still continuing today there is one trend that would dominate. I’m talking of course about excessive advert dancing. In 2023 it is impossible to survive an ad break – be it terrestrial or on streaming – without being assailed by someone witlessly bouncing around or waving their arms about like Joey from Friends. Mostly they involve members of the public, or people pretending to be them, dancing goofily to dance hits of years gone by.
