Perhaps the most distressing aspect of England’s World Cup campaign has been its gradual but unmistakeable effect on Eoin Morgan’s face. This is a man, remember, who was captaining the side barely a year ago and who, during his frictionless transition into broadcasting, has made a decent stab at building a commentary career without actually passing comment on anything at all. Simplicity, gravitas, equivocation, inscrutable eyes. Something about India being wonderful hosts. Play it cool, and you could be a decade down the line before anyone asks you for a genuine opinion.
And it was all going so well, until this. Happy now, England? Daddy is sad. Look at Daddy. This is how Daddy looks when he is contractually obliged to stick the boot into his mates on television. Well, this is going to hurt him a lot more than it hurts you. “I’ve never come across a sports team that has underperformed like this,” Morgan spat on Sky Sports last week, and this is a guy who played for London Spirit.
