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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Lifestyle
Eleanor Gordon-Smith

The first of my friends is having a baby and it makes me feel pressured. How do I reframe this?

Eleanor GordonSmith
Le Berceau by Berthe Morisot is an intimate painting capturing a moment of motherhood
’It’s really common to feel poignant or compared or even envious when friends go through big life changes,’ writes Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Painting: Le Berceau by Berthe Morisot. Illustration: Alamy

I’m turning 29 soon and the first of my friends is having a baby in the new year. This news has prompted a lot of self reflection. I’m pretty ambivalent about having a child myself but also feel like it’s the next milestone. I feel a great deal of pressure to decide whether or not to have a child – but this is largely self-inflicted. Unlike others I don’t have family asking this question.

I know I have a few years to decide on this (and might not be lucky enough to be able to have a child in the event), so how can I reframe my thinking and be straightforwardly happy for my friend without feeling the pressure to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life?

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