Yes, this post is … a few decades late (although with the Mario movie coming, it’s timely!)
But I can safely say that Mario Kart 64 is the GOAT of Mario games, something we’ve been discussing a lot as a staff here at For The Win.
So I decided now’s a good time as any to rank the best drivers, because I spent … oh, I don’t know, a bajillion hours playing the now-classic Nintendo 64 game in college. I consider myself something of an expert (but not like Jose Ramirez).
Who is the worst and should never be used? Who is the best and should always be selected? Here’s the answer:
8
Luigi
Who picks Luigi? If you’re going to pick a driver who’s in that medium range, you’re not picking him. You’re picking Mario, and I consider Yoshi one, too. Sorry to the brother, but it’s fine — he got an all-time classic in Luigi’s Mansion later on.
7
Toad
Sorry, pal. You may be fast but you’re too small and get bumped too easily by the big guys.
6
Mario
I never felt comfortable driving with Mario. I can’t tell why.
5
Donkey Kong
The big guys can have their benefits, but there’s one higher up on the list I like more.
4
Peach
Fast like Toad but can withstand more damage when hit. Underrated!
3
Wario
He’s Wario and he’s gonna win.
2
Bowser
This is the one you want from the big drivers. He’s huge, he turns well and his size is menacing.
1
Yoshi
The best, without a doubt. Not too big, not too small, speedy enough and turns well. I will always select Yoshi.
