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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Politics
John Crace

The Campaign Diary of Robert Kenyon Aged 41 and Three-Quarters (as imagined by John Crace)

Robert Kenyon sits in the driver's seat of a vehicle, looking at the camera
Robert Kenyon in his van. ‘I like to turn on the engine and leave it running ... burn as many fossil fuels as possible. Bollocks to net zero.’ Photograph: Twitter/X Reform

Another sweltering sub-Saharan summer’s day in late spring. If this is global warming, I say: “Bring it on.” I go outside to the van, turn on the engine and leave it running. This is the kind of day you want to burn as many fossil fuels as possible. Back indoors, I turn on the radio where Tony Blair is talking. There’s a politician who talks sense.

Bollocks to net zero. That’s what I say. It stands to reason. I mean, think back to the ice age. Let’s face it, there weren’t that many international flights a day while the Neanderthals were alive – five or six at most – and the world still got a whole lot hotter. So it’s all just woke nonsense. Make a note in my diary to ask if Tony is free to come up to Makerfield to do some door-knocking.

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