What is The Box? It is easier, perhaps, to list the things The Box is not, if only to give ourselves something to cling to when the more recognisable trappings start to wobble, the floor gives way and we find ourselves in a tent with Joey Essex, watching in silence as a topless John Bercow hurls glitter at an audience of braying pensioners.
So. Some things The Box is not: a sitcom; a medical drama; a property show presented by sockless men with teeth that follow you around the room; a thing about badgers. Beyond this, however, we are on our own. The opening titles do little to assist. “10 BOXES” booms a caption as the camera swoops over a collection of giant yellow containers strapped to the back of a flatbed lorry. “10 CONTESTANTS” it continues, as a montage of coming attractions reveals footage of Graeme Souness squinting at an egg and a member of JLS running towards some trees. And, finally, a distinctly disobliging caption that is nevertheless pivotal to the wilfully befuddling modus operandi of this six-part series: “NO HELP”. Bloody hell. Or rather, “bløødy hell”, because The Box is a Norwegian format so something may have been lost in translation. Anyway, shh, because it’s episode one and here is Gary Lineker.
