I left my viewing of the Borderlands movie consumed by two thoughts. The first: My cinema was more packed than I thought it would be at 3:30 pm on a Thursday, and my local community will now surely tar me as a man who paid real-life British pounds to go and see a film currently boasting a hot 7% on Rotten Tomatoes (up from 0%). The second: What kind of foul trick did known magician Randy Pitchford pull on Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis to get them to star in it?
Borderlands is not good. It is bad. This will not be news to you. It's in the headlines and in the Twitter posts and in the glazed eyes of audiences pouring out of screenings across the globe. You might have heard the claim that this is a righting of the scale, the karmic rebalance after five-star videogame adaptations like The Last of Us and Fallout. A real Uwe Boll-style stinker to cleanse our palates and remind us that good adaptations are the exception, not the rule. We needed a new Super Mario Bros (1993).
