You can sort of tell what kind of film writer-director-co-star Savvas D Michael thought he was making, given the lofty references to Homer’s Iliad in the plotting, Martin Scorsese movies in the dialogue, and Guy Ritchie in the casting – given the presence here of Vinnie Jones in a cameo role. However, the result is an intensely irritating hot mess, a London petty criminal story set in the Greek Cypriot community that’s offensive, self-indulgent and stupid.
The title refers to a private club of the same name, run by one Plato Andinos (Andreas Karras), a small-time big shot who likes to throw parties with strippers for his mates, and preaches homophobia and sexism at home to his kids. His wife, Helen (Marina Sirtis, from Star Trek Generations) puts up with it all because she gets knockoff designer handbags and a tacky house that makes the cribs in The Only Way Is Essex look like items from Architectural Digest. But Plato’s home life is only peripheral to the story, which mostly revolves around the exploits and hijinks of him and his crew, a motley selection of knaves, one of whom is a supposedly handsome and supposedly unbeatable scrapper named Achilles (played by Michael himself).
