On Wednesday, Rishi Sunak opened his tiny mouth wide, as wide as it could possibly go, and announced “a new plan to stop scams at the source and help make it easier for people to protect themselves from fraudsters”. Meanwhile, his former boss Boris Johnson, who had persuaded some mug to pay for his wallpaper and the British taxpayer to pay for his Partygate legal costs, frolicked around on the lawn like a dog with two defence lawyers.
It’s hard to imagine how the political, or even literal, fraudsters that comprise the Conservative government could appear any more comically unselfconscious. Perhaps they could have launched their anti-fraud initiative with a short animation of a cartoon fox advising us on how to protect chickens, while seated on a huge throne made of chicken bones, licking chicken blood off its own fingers and ostentatiously wearing a hat that is just a dead chicken.
